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You On Top

You On Top

Smart, Sexy Skills Every Woman Needs to Set the World on Fire
by Kate White 2007 304 pages
3.47
100+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Embrace Your Inner Sex Kitten: Confidence is Key to Attractiveness

"Own your hotness rather than rent it."

Confidence is sexy. Embrace your unique qualities and exude self-assurance. Remember that sexiness is an attitude, not just physical attributes. Cultivate a positive self-image by focusing on your best features and carrying yourself with confidence.

Practical tips to boost confidence:

  • Wear clothes that make you feel good
  • Practice positive self-talk
  • Engage in activities that make you feel empowered
  • Surround yourself with supportive people

Don't wait for others to validate your attractiveness. By owning your hotness and projecting confidence, you'll naturally become more appealing to others and feel more comfortable in your own skin.

2. Master the Art of Communication with Men

"Men actually are men of few words."

Understand male communication patterns. Men typically use fewer words than women and may not always express their thoughts and feelings as readily. To improve communication with men, be direct, concise, and give them space to process information.

Effective communication strategies:

  • Choose the right timing for important conversations
  • Use clear, straightforward language
  • Ask specific questions instead of expecting mind-reading
  • Listen actively without interrupting

Remember that men often appreciate actions over words. Show your affection and appreciation through gestures and physical touch, not just verbal expressions. By adapting your communication style, you can build stronger connections and avoid misunderstandings in your relationships with men.

3. Prioritize Your Sexual Satisfaction and Pleasure

"Think with your panties."

Take charge of your sexual pleasure. Don't rely solely on your partner to satisfy you. Explore your own body, understand what you enjoy, and communicate your desires to your partner. Remember that sexual satisfaction is a crucial aspect of overall well-being and relationship happiness.

Steps to enhance sexual pleasure:

  • Experiment with self-pleasure to understand your preferences
  • Communicate openly with your partner about your desires
  • Try new positions, techniques, and toys
  • Focus on foreplay and building anticipation

Don't be afraid to take the lead in the bedroom. By prioritizing your own pleasure and being proactive about your sexual needs, you'll not only enjoy a more fulfilling sex life but also boost your confidence and intimacy with your partner.

4. Cultivate a Powerful Professional Presence

"When it really matters, move fast."

Be proactive and decisive in your career. Take initiative, seize opportunities, and don't be afraid to ask for what you want. Develop a reputation for being efficient, reliable, and capable of handling challenging situations.

Tips for professional success:

  • Set clear goals and create action plans
  • Network strategically and build relationships
  • Continuously update your skills and knowledge
  • Learn to delegate effectively

Embrace the "agent provocateur" mindset in your professional life. Be the one who initiates positive changes, comes up with innovative ideas, and isn't afraid to take calculated risks. By cultivating a powerful presence, you'll stand out in your career and open doors to new opportunities.

5. Develop Your Personal Style and Beauty Routine

"Guys like women naked, period."

Embrace your natural beauty. While it's important to take care of yourself and present your best self to the world, remember that confidence is the most attractive quality. Develop a personal style that makes you feel comfortable and authentic.

Beauty and style tips:

  • Invest in quality, versatile pieces for your wardrobe
  • Establish a simple, effective skincare routine
  • Experiment with makeup to enhance your features
  • Find a signature scent or accessory

Remember that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and styles. Focus on highlighting your unique features and feeling good in your own skin. When you feel confident and comfortable, it shows in your overall appearance and demeanor.

6. Navigate Relationships with Wisdom and Authenticity

"Don't believe everything you think."

Trust your instincts, but verify. In relationships, it's important to listen to your gut feelings while also being open to new perspectives. Avoid making assumptions and jumping to conclusions. Instead, communicate openly and honestly with your partner.

Healthy relationship practices:

  • Set clear boundaries and expectations
  • Practice active listening and empathy
  • Address conflicts calmly and constructively
  • Maintain your individuality within the relationship

Remember that a strong relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and open communication. Don't lose yourself in a relationship or try to change your partner. Instead, focus on growing together while maintaining your own identity and pursuing your personal goals.

7. Embrace Personal Growth and Self-Improvement

"To find the time, you must make the time."

Prioritize self-improvement. Make a conscious effort to grow personally and professionally. Set aside dedicated time for learning new skills, pursuing hobbies, and working on your goals. Remember that small, consistent efforts can lead to significant growth over time.

Self-improvement strategies:

  • Read regularly and widely
  • Take online courses or attend workshops
  • Practice mindfulness and self-reflection
  • Seek feedback and learn from criticism

Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try new things. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. By consistently investing in yourself and your personal development, you'll become more confident, capable, and fulfilled in all areas of your life.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.47 out of 5
Average of 100+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

You On Top receives mixed reviews, with an average rating of 3.46/5. Some readers praise it as an empowering guide for young women, covering career, relationships, and self-care. They appreciate the author's humor and personal anecdotes. Others find the advice shallow or outdated, criticizing its simplified views on gender and focus on pleasing men. The book's short chapters and easy-to-read format are generally well-received. Many reviewers note it's most suitable for women in their early 20s or late teens.

Your rating:

About the Author

Kate White is a bestselling author of suspense novels and former editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan magazine. She has written eighteen novels, including standalone psychological thrillers and the Bailey Weggins mystery series. White's first mystery became a bestseller and her books have been published in over 30 countries. She frequently speaks at libraries and book conferences and has appeared on various television shows. In addition to fiction, White has authored career books and edited the Mystery Writers of America Cookbook. She holds an honorary doctorate from Union College and splits her time between the United States and Uruguay.

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