When People Are Big and God is Small

1. Fear of Man: A Universal Struggle

Fear of man is such a part of our human fabric that we should check for a pulse if someone denies it.

Defining the Fear. The fear of man is not merely being afraid of someone; it's about replacing God with people, seeking their approval, and being controlled by their opinions. This manifests in various ways, from peer pressure and people-pleasing to codependency and the pursuit of self-esteem. It's a deeply ingrained human tendency, affecting both the shy and the assertive.

Biblical Examples. The Bible is filled with examples of individuals who succumbed to the fear of man, including King Saul, who disobeyed God because he feared the people, and the Pharisees, who loved praise from men more than praise from God. Even Peter, despite his boldness, denied Christ out of fear of a servant girl. These stories highlight the pervasive nature of this struggle.

Modern Manifestations. In today's world, the fear of man is evident in our obsession with self-esteem, our over-commitment to please others, and our anxieties about being exposed as impostors. It drives our jealousy, our lies, and even our diets, revealing how deeply we crave the approval of others. Recognizing this universal struggle is the first step toward overcoming it.

2. Shame: The Root of Hiding and Fear

At the moment of Adam’s sin, shame — that is, “What will they think of me?” and “What will God think of me?” — became a cornerstone of human experience.

Shame's Origins. Shame, the feeling of being exposed and vulnerable, emerged immediately after Adam and Eve's sin. This shame-consciousness led them to hide from God and each other, marking the beginning of a desperate need for covering and protection. Shame stems from both our own sin and the sins committed against us.

Shame in Culture. In today's culture, shame often surfaces as low self-esteem, a secularized version of the biblical concept. Despite the prevalence of pornography and nudity, the taboo on nakedness persists, symbolizing our need for spiritual covering. We experience embarrassment when caught singing alone or when someone stares too long, revealing our underlying fear of exposure.

Hiding and Spying. Shame drives us to hide behind walls of self-protection, built with money, fame, or busyness. Yet, we also spy on others, seeking to normalize our own disgrace or find heroes to admire. This cycle of hiding and spying perpetuates the fear of man, keeping us trapped in a masquerade.

3. Rejection: The Idol of Approval

Sometimes we would prefer to die for Jesus than to live for him.

Craving Acceptance. Closely tied to shame is the fear of rejection, the desire for acceptance, love, and significance from others. This fear can lead us to compromise our values, as seen in King Saul's disobedience and the Pharisees' denial of Jesus. We often prioritize being liked, appreciated, or respected over standing for truth.

Peer Pressure. "Peer pressure" is simply a euphemism for the fear of man. It drives unwise decisions in teenagers and adults alike. We wait for others to take initiatives of love, worry about others' opinions of our appearance, and avoid opportunities to share our faith, all out of fear of rejection.

The Praise of God. Jesus, in contrast, did not seek praise from men but spoke truth with authority. The apostle Paul also prioritized the praise of God over the approval of others. Overcoming the fear of rejection requires a shift in focus from seeking human approval to seeking God's approval.

4. Threat: The Illusion of Power

What or who you need will control you.

Physical Vulnerability. The fear of physical harm is a potent driver of the fear of man. Abraham lied about his wife's identity out of fear for his life, demonstrating how easily we can prioritize self-preservation over trusting God. The Israelites' fear of the Canaanites led to a generation wandering in the wilderness.

Fear Run Amok. While fear in the face of genuine threat is natural, the fear of man is an exaggerated, sinful response. It's fear that forgets God, leading us to trust in others for salvation. This is seen in Janet, a victim of violence, whose abusers continued to control her life long after the abuse ended.

Faith in the Face of Threat. David, in contrast, consistently turned to God in his fear, declaring, "The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?" Overcoming the fear of threat requires a constant reminder of God's power and protection.

5. The World's Influence: A Culture of Self

Individualism, at first, only saps the virtues of public life; but, in the long run, it attacks and destroys all others, and is at length absorbed in downright selfishness.

Sub-Biblical Assumptions. The world, with its sub-biblical assumptions, intensifies our natural tendency to fear man. This includes a culture of victimization, where blame is shifted to others, and an overemphasis on self-esteem, which leaves us dependent on external validation. These assumptions affect our interpretations of the Bible.

The Cult of Self. Since the 1800s, Western culture has increasingly valued individual growth, personal identity, and the possibilities of the person without linking it to a submission to divine authority. This has led to a focus on feelings, a watered-down version of spirituality, and a diminished view of God's holiness and sovereignty.

Psychological Needs. American psychology has become the caretaker of these modern assumptions, promoting the idea that we are morally good, that emotions are the way to truth, and that all people are spiritual. It has also popularized the concept of psychological needs, which, when unmet, lead to personal pathology. This emphasis on self-focus and neediness further fuels the fear of man.

6. The Fear of the Lord: The Antidote to All Fears

He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure.

Defining the Fear of the Lord. The fear of the Lord is not simply terror but a spectrum of attitudes, ranging from dread to reverent submission. It includes a knowledge of our sinfulness and God's moral purity, as well as a clear-eyed understanding of his justice and love. This worship-fear draws us closer to God, leading to obedience and delight.

Holiness of God. The key to understanding the fear of the Lord is grasping the holiness of God, his "otherness," his transcendence. He is different from us, and none of his attributes can be understood by comparison to his creatures. Yet, this transcendent God has also come close to us, revealing himself and becoming like us.

Learning the Fear of the Lord. The fear of the Lord can be learned through consistent Bible reading, meditation, and prayer. It requires recognizing God's mighty acts, both his holy love and justice. By focusing on God's glory and his character, we can displace the people-idols in our lives and become less prone to self-centeredness.

7. True Needs: Beyond Psychological Desires

Fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.

Questioning Psychological Needs. The popular view of the person as a receptacle for psychological needs is challenged. While we all desire love and significance, elevating these desires to God-given needs can lead to self-centeredness and a distorted view of the gospel. It is essential to distinguish between biological, spiritual, and psychological needs.

The Image of God. The image of God in man is not about fulfilling psychological needs but about reflecting God's glory. We are to delight in God, make his name famous, and live for his purposes, not our own. This requires a shift in focus from self-improvement to the glory of the Holy God.

The "I Want" Problem. Psychological yearnings often stem from our refusal to love God and receive his love. They are expressions of our sinful nature, our "I want," which prioritizes self over God. The biblical response is to confess our self-centered desires and seek to love others out of the love and security we enjoy in Christ.

8. God's Love: Covering Shame and Filling Emptiness

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.

The Welcoming God. After repenting of our self-centered desires, we encounter a God who welcomes us with open arms. He promises to remember our offenses no more, offering forgiveness and cleansing. This is a time to be controlled by the truth of God, not our fluctuating feelings.

Filling the Emptiness. God fills us with his love, pouring it out into our hearts by the Holy Spirit. This is not about satisfying our selfish desires but about meeting our spiritual need for forgiveness, covering from shame, protection from oppressors, and acceptance into God's family. It's about being deluged with God himself.

Hosea's Love Story. The book of Hosea provides a powerful illustration of God's love for his people. Hosea's marriage to Gomer, an adulterous wife, mirrors God's unwavering love for Israel, despite their unfaithfulness. This story reveals the depth of God's compassion and his commitment to redeeming his people.

9. Love in Action: Serving Others, Not Ourselves

To really understand the roots of the fear of man, we must begin to ask the right questions.

The Shape of Others. Having understood God's love and our own sinfulness, we must now consider other people. Are they gas pumps to fill our emptiness, tickets to acceptance, or priests to make us feel okay? Or are they something more?

Love Your Enemies. Jesus commands us to love our enemies, treating them as we have been treated by God. This requires a radical shift in perspective, seeing them not as threats but as individuals in need of God's grace. It means praying for them, serving them, and seeking their repentance.

Love Your Neighbor. We are also called to love our neighbors, those outside the body of Christ. This involves showing grace and mercy, treating them with the same compassion that God has shown us. It means being salt and light in our generation, pointing others to the love of Jesus.

10. The Church: A Community of Grace and Truth

We need to go further in searching the Scripture so that we can truly understand the nearly universal experience of the fear of man.

The Body of Christ. Those within the body of Christ are our family in a unique way. We are to love and be united with them, recognizing that we need each other to represent Christ fully. This requires actively participating in the church, seeking counsel, and using our gifts to serve others.

Corporate vs. Individual. The Bible emphasizes the corporate nature of faith. We are not meant to be isolated individuals but members of a community, working together to fulfill God's purposes. This requires a shift from "I" to "we," recognizing that we need each other to grow in grace and reflect God's glory.

Unity in Diversity. True biblical community does not mean sameness but unity in diversity. As we pursue oneness in the body of Christ, we become more unique, expressing our individual gifts and talents for the sake of the whole. This creates a vibrant, dynamic community that reflects the multifaceted glory of God.

Last updated: March 12, 2025