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This is Where I Leave You

This is Where I Leave You

by Jonathan Tropper 2003 339 pages
3.88
100k+ ratings
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Plot Summary

Dad's Death and Family Dynamics

Judd learns of his father's death

Judd Foxman is thrust into a whirlwind of emotions when his sister Wendy informs him of their father's passing. The Foxman family, notorious for their emotional repression, is now faced with the unexpected request of their atheist father to observe a traditional Jewish shiva. This sets the stage for a week of forced togetherness, where Judd and his siblings—Wendy, Paul, and Phillip—must navigate their strained relationships and confront the deep-seated issues that have long simmered beneath the surface.

Judd's Marital Collapse Unfolds

Judd's marriage ends in betrayal

Judd's life spirals out of control when he discovers his wife, Jen, in bed with his boss, Wade. This betrayal shatters his world, leading to the end of his marriage and the loss of his job. As Judd grapples with public humiliation and personal failure, he is forced to return to his childhood home for the shiva, setting the stage for a confrontation with his past and the family dynamics that have shaped him.

Funeral Chaos and Family Tensions

Family tensions flare at the funeral

The Foxman family gathers for their father's funeral, where old grievances and sibling rivalries come to the fore. Judd's brother Paul delivers a self-congratulatory eulogy, while the youngest brother, Phillip, arrives late, causing a stir. The funeral is marred by awkward interactions and unresolved tensions, highlighting the family's inability to cope with their father's death and their own fractured relationships. The chaotic atmosphere sets the tone for the week-long shiva that follows.

Shiva Begins: Old Wounds Resurface

Shiva brings old wounds to light

As the Foxman family begins the shiva, they are forced to confront their past and present grievances. The low chairs and covered mirrors symbolize their mourning, but also their discomfort with vulnerability. Judd's interactions with his siblings reveal deep-seated resentments and unresolved issues, particularly with Paul, who blames Judd for a past accident. The shiva becomes a catalyst for the family to confront their shared history and the emotional scars that have shaped their lives.

Unexpected News and Emotional Turmoil

Judd faces unexpected fatherhood

Amidst the shiva, Judd's estranged wife, Jen, arrives with shocking news: she is pregnant, and the baby is Judd's. This revelation throws Judd into emotional turmoil, as he grapples with the implications of becoming a father while dealing with the collapse of his marriage. The news forces Judd to reevaluate his life and his future, as he struggles to reconcile his feelings of betrayal with the responsibilities of impending fatherhood.

Sibling Rivalries and Unresolved Grief

Sibling tensions and grief collide

The Foxman siblings' rivalries and unresolved grief come to a head during the shiva. Paul and Phillip's longstanding animosity erupts into a physical altercation, while Wendy and Judd navigate their own complicated relationships. The family's interactions are marked by sarcasm and bitterness, as they struggle to process their father's death and their own personal failures. The shiva becomes a crucible for the family, forcing them to confront their shared pain and the possibility of healing.

Judd's Past and Present Collide

Judd reconnects with his past

As the shiva progresses, Judd finds himself reconnecting with his past, both through memories of his father and encounters with old friends. A chance meeting with Penny Moore, an old flame, stirs up feelings of nostalgia and longing. Judd reflects on his life choices and the path that led him to his current predicament. The narrative explores themes of regret, lost opportunities, and the possibility of redemption, as Judd grapples with his past and contemplates his future.

Wendy's Poolside Revelation

Wendy's emotional moment with Horry

Wendy finds herself in a vulnerable state, both physically and emotionally, as she unexpectedly ends up in the pool. Horry, ever the rescuer, jumps in fully clothed to help her. Their interaction is tender, hinting at a deep, unspoken connection from their past. Wendy's tears, masked by the pool water, reveal her inner turmoil and the unresolved feelings she harbors. This moment underscores the complexity of her relationships and the emotional baggage she carries.

Shiva's Emotional Rollercoaster

Family dynamics during shiva

The Foxman family continues to navigate the emotional landscape of shiva, with each member dealing with their grief and personal issues. Judd faces the repetitive cycle of explaining his separation from Jen to visitors, while his mother, Hillary, entertains guests with stories from her book. The atmosphere is charged with tension, humor, and the underlying pain of loss, as the family struggles to maintain composure amidst the chaos of visitors and personal revelations.

Judd's Unexpected Connection with Penny

Judd and Penny's rekindled bond

Amidst the turmoil of shiva, Judd finds solace in reconnecting with Penny, an old flame. Their late-night swim in the pool becomes a moment of intimacy and nostalgia, offering Judd a brief escape from his current troubles. As they kiss, Judd experiences a glimmer of hope and optimism for the future, realizing that there might be life beyond his failed marriage and family drama. This encounter serves as a catalyst for Judd's emotional journey towards healing and acceptance.

Family Secrets and Unraveling Truths

Revelations shake the Foxman family

The Foxman family is rocked by a series of revelations, including Hillary's relationship with Linda, her long-time friend. This disclosure forces the siblings to confront their preconceived notions about their parents and their own lives. The shiva becomes a backdrop for these unfolding truths, as each family member grapples with their own secrets and the impact of their father's death. The narrative explores themes of identity, acceptance, and the complexity of familial bonds.

Judd's Journey to Acceptance

Judd confronts his past and future

As the shiva draws to a close, Judd reflects on his life, his failed marriage, and the impending fatherhood. A confrontation with Wade, Jen's lover, leads to a moment of clarity for Judd, as he realizes the need to let go of his anger and embrace the uncertainty of his future. The narrative delves into Judd's internal struggle, highlighting his journey towards acceptance and the possibility of redemption. This chapter marks a turning point for Judd, as he begins to envision a new path forward.

A New Beginning for Judd

Judd embraces change and hope

With the shiva over, Judd embarks on a journey of self-discovery and renewal. He decides to leave behind the remnants of his old life and embrace the unknown, symbolized by his spontaneous decision to drive north. The narrative concludes with Judd feeling a sense of freedom and possibility, as he contemplates the future with a newfound sense of hope. This chapter encapsulates the themes of growth, resilience, and the enduring power of family and love.

Characters

Judd Foxman

Emotionally conflicted and evolving

Judd is the central character, grappling with the death of his father, the collapse of his marriage, and the prospect of fatherhood. Throughout the shiva, he confronts his past and begins to accept the uncertainties of his future. Judd's journey is marked by moments of introspection, vulnerability, and ultimately, a sense of hope and renewal.

Wendy Foxman

Complex and emotionally guarded

Wendy is Judd's sister, dealing with her own marital issues and unresolved feelings for Horry. Her interactions with Horry reveal a softer, more vulnerable side, as she navigates the complexities of her relationships and family dynamics. Wendy's character is defined by her sharp wit and emotional depth.

Paul Foxman

Resentful and burdened

Paul is Judd's older brother, who carries the weight of the family business and unresolved anger towards Judd. His character is marked by a sense of duty and frustration, as he struggles to balance his responsibilities with his personal grievances. Paul's relationship with Judd is fraught with tension, stemming from past incidents and sibling rivalry.

Phillip Foxman

Charming yet troubled

Phillip, the youngest Foxman sibling, is known for his reckless behavior and charm. His impulsive actions and strained relationships with his family highlight his deeper insecurities and desire for acceptance. Phillip's character arc explores themes of redemption and the struggle for self-identity.

Jen Foxman

Conflicted and seeking redemption

Jen, Judd's estranged wife, is a complex character dealing with the fallout of her affair and the impending arrival of their child. Her interactions with Judd reveal her inner conflict and desire for reconciliation, as she navigates the challenges of their fractured relationship.

Wade Boulanger

Charismatic yet flawed

Wade, Judd's former boss and Jen's lover, serves as a catalyst for the story's central conflicts. His actions have a profound impact on Judd's life, forcing him to confront his own shortcomings and the realities of his marriage. Wade's character is defined by his charisma and moral ambiguity.

Hillary Foxman

Maternal and unconventional

Hillary, the Foxman matriarch, is a psychologist known for her candidness and lack of boundaries. Her relationship with Linda, revealed during the shiva, challenges the family's perceptions and forces them to confront their own biases. Hillary's character is marked by her desire for control and her deep love for her children.

Barry Weissman

Ambitious yet detached

Barry is Wendy's husband, a successful businessman whose career often takes precedence over his family. His character is marked by his ambition and emotional detachment, which strain his relationship with Wendy. Barry's interactions with the Foxman family reveal his priorities and the challenges of balancing work and family life.

Alice Foxman

Supportive yet conflicted

Alice is Paul's wife, who struggles with infertility and the pressures of family expectations. Her character is marked by her supportive nature and desire for harmony, often serving as a mediator in family conflicts. Alice's relationship with Paul is tested by their shared struggles and the tensions within the Foxman family.

Tracy Sullivan

Well-meaning yet out of place

Tracy is Phillip's older girlfriend, whose presence at the shiva highlights the family's dysfunction. Her character is marked by her well-meaning intentions and desire to help Phillip, despite the challenges of their relationship. Tracy's interactions with the Foxman family reveal her outsider status and the complexities of love and acceptance.

Horry Callen

Resilient and connected

Horry, a family friend and Wendy's former love interest, plays a significant role in the narrative. Despite his traumatic brain injury, Horry remains a source of strength and support for the Foxman family. His interactions with Wendy highlight the enduring bond between them and the impact of past relationships on their present lives.

Plot Devices

Shiva as a Narrative Framework

Seven days of forced reflection

The shiva serves as a narrative framework, forcing the Foxman family to confront their grief and unresolved issues over the course of seven days. This traditional Jewish mourning period becomes a catalyst for character development and conflict resolution, as the family navigates the complexities of their relationships and personal struggles.

Flashbacks and Memory

Past informs present conflicts

Flashbacks and memory are used to provide context for the characters' current conflicts and emotional states. These glimpses into the past reveal the family's history and the events that have shaped their dynamics, offering insight into their motivations and unresolved grievances.

Humor and Sarcasm

Coping mechanism for emotional pain

Humor and sarcasm are employed as coping mechanisms by the characters, particularly Wendy and Judd, to navigate the emotional pain and tension within the family. This use of humor adds depth to the narrative, highlighting the characters' vulnerabilities and the complexities of their relationships.

Symbolism of the House

Physical representation of family history

The Foxman family home serves as a symbol of their shared history and unresolved issues. The house, with its familiar yet deteriorating structure, reflects the family's emotional state and the need for reconciliation and healing. The setting becomes a backdrop for the unfolding drama and character development.

Analysis

Exploration of family and self-discovery

"This is Where I Leave You" by Jonathan Tropper is a poignant exploration of family dynamics, personal failure, and the journey towards self-discovery. Through the lens of a traditional Jewish shiva, the narrative delves into the complexities of grief, sibling rivalry, and the enduring impact of past relationships. Tropper masterfully weaves humor and sarcasm into the story, providing a nuanced portrayal of the characters' vulnerabilities and emotional struggles. The novel ultimately conveys themes of acceptance, redemption, and the possibility of new beginnings, offering readers a compelling reflection on the power of family and the resilience of the human spirit.

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Review Summary

3.88 out of 5
Average of 100k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

This is Where I Leave You received mixed reviews. Many praised its humor, relatable family dynamics, and Tropper's witty writing style. Readers enjoyed the dysfunctional characters and found the book both hilarious and poignant. However, some criticized the objectification of women, shallow characterizations, and forced humor. The novel's exploration of grief, relationships, and family resonated with many readers, while others found the protagonist unlikeable and the plot clichéd. Overall, the book's blend of comedy and drama was generally well-received, despite its flaws.

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About the Author

Jonathan Tropper is an American author known for his humorous and poignant novels about family dynamics and personal growth. He has written several books, including Everything Changes, The Book of Joe, and Plan B. Tropper's works often explore themes of loss, relationships, and self-discovery with a blend of wit and emotional depth. His novels have gained popularity and critical acclaim, with some being optioned for film adaptations. In addition to writing, Tropper teaches at Manhattanville College in Westchester, New York, where he resides with his family. His unique style of combining comedy with heartfelt storytelling has earned him a dedicated readership.

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