Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is) - A Study Guide for Women

1. Lust is a universal struggle, not just a male issue

"Please don't think you're the only woman dealing with lust. Don't let pride keep you from reaching out for help. You need other Christian women to come alongside you."

Lust affects everyone. Contrary to popular belief, lust is not exclusively a male problem. Women also struggle with sexual temptation and impure thoughts. This universal struggle stems from our fallen human nature and the hypersexualized culture we live in.

Shame hinders healing. Many women feel isolated in their battle against lust due to the misconception that it's primarily a male issue. This shame can prevent them from seeking help and support, perpetuating the cycle of sin and guilt. Recognizing the universality of this struggle is the first step towards finding freedom and grace.

Community is essential. Overcoming lust requires the support of other believers, particularly fellow women who understand the unique challenges faced. By reaching out for help and cultivating honest relationships, women can find encouragement, accountability, and practical strategies for walking in purity.

2. Sex is not the problem; lust is the real enemy

"God has built into men and women a strong sexual desire, which is pure and good."

Sexuality is God's design. God created sex as a beautiful gift to be enjoyed within the context of marriage. Our sexual desires and attractions are not inherently sinful; they are part of our God-given nature as human beings created in His image.

Lust distorts God's design. The problem arises when we allow our natural desires to be twisted by lust. Lust takes what God intended for good and turns it into an idol, causing us to pursue selfish pleasure rather than honoring God and others.

Redemption, not rejection. The goal in battling lust is not to eliminate our sexuality, but to redeem it according to God's purposes. This involves:

• Recognizing the goodness of our sexual nature
• Identifying and rejecting lustful thoughts and behaviors
• Cultivating a healthy, God-honoring view of sexuality
• Pursuing purity in our thoughts, actions, and relationships

3. God's standard for sexual purity is "not even a hint"

"God's standard of not even a hint quickly brings me to the end of my own ability and effort."

A high calling. God's standard for sexual purity is incredibly high – "not even a hint" of sexual immorality (Ephesians 5:3). This goes beyond just avoiding outward acts of sin and extends to our thoughts, motivations, and the meditations of our hearts.

Impossible in our own strength. This standard is deliberately set at a level that is impossible for us to achieve through sheer willpower or self-discipline. It's designed to drive us to our knees in dependence on God's grace and power.

Grace-driven effort. Pursuing this level of purity requires:

• Humility to acknowledge our weakness
• Faith to rely on God's strength
• Vigilance in guarding our hearts and minds
• Consistent effort empowered by the Holy Spirit
• Quick repentance when we fall short

4. True change comes from God's grace, not self-effort

"God is after your heart. That's what He cares about. He wants your undivided passion."

Heart transformation. Lasting change in our battle against lust doesn't come from trying harder or imposing strict rules on ourselves. It comes from a heart that has been captivated by the love and grace of God.

The power of the gospel. The good news of Jesus' death and resurrection provides both the motivation and the power for change:

• We are fully forgiven and accepted because of Christ's sacrifice
• The Holy Spirit empowers us to live in freedom from sin
• Our identity as God's beloved children gives us a new purpose

Grace-fueled obedience. When we truly grasp God's grace, it produces:

• Gratitude that motivates obedience
• Freedom from guilt and shame
• Confidence to approach God for help
• Desire to please Him out of love, not fear

5. Media and entertainment choices impact our spiritual health

"Television and film stir up feelings and emotions that bypass our minds and go straight for our affections."

Subtle influence. The media we consume has a powerful, often subconscious effect on our hearts and minds. It shapes our values, desires, and perceptions of reality, often in ways that contradict God's truth.

Intentional choices. We must be proactive in evaluating our entertainment choices:

• Assess the cumulative effect on our spiritual lives
• Consider how it impacts our view of God, sin, and relationships
• Be willing to set boundaries and make sacrifices for the sake of purity

Positive alternatives. Instead of just avoiding harmful content, we should actively seek out media that:

• Edifies and encourages our faith
• Reinforces biblical values
• Cultivates a love for what is good, true, and beautiful

6. Accountability is crucial in overcoming lust

"Alone, you're vulnerable. Together we can be strong."

Designed for community. God created us to live in relationship with others. Trying to fight lust in isolation leaves us vulnerable to deception, discouragement, and defeat.

Benefits of accountability:

• Encouragement and support
• Honest feedback and loving confrontation
• Prayer support during times of temptation
• Celebration of victories and progress

Effective accountability requires:

• Humility to be honest about struggles
• Commitment to regular communication
• Willingness to ask and answer tough questions
• Focus on heart issues, not just behavior modification
• Balance of grace and truth

7. God's Word is the most powerful weapon against lust

"Scripture cuts through the confusion and hazy half-truths that our sin generates."

Living and active. The Bible is not just a collection of ancient writings; it is the living Word of God with power to transform our hearts and minds.

Countering lies with truth. Meditating on and memorizing Scripture:

• Exposes the deceptive promises of lust
• Reminds us of God's goodness and faithfulness
• Renews our minds with God's perspective
• Provides specific promises to cling to in temptation

Practical application:

• Identify specific lies you struggle with
• Find corresponding truths in Scripture
• Memorize and meditate on these verses
• Use them to "talk back" to temptation when it arises

8. Holiness is a harvest that requires intentional sowing

"What you see in your spiritual life today is the direct result of what you've put in the soil of your life in days past."

Spiritual principle. Just as a farmer reaps what he sows, our spiritual lives reflect the choices we make and the habits we cultivate over time.

Intentional cultivation. Growing in holiness requires:

• Consistent, daily choices to pursue God
• Patience and perseverance through seasons of little visible growth
• Faith that our efforts will bear fruit in due time

Practical ways to sow to the Spirit:

• Prioritize daily time in God's Word and prayer
• Cultivate gratitude and worship
• Serve others and practice self-sacrifice
• Confess and repent of sin quickly
• Surround yourself with godly influences
• Practice spiritual disciplines (fasting, solitude, etc.)

Last updated: November 19, 2024