Mansfield's Book of Manly Men

1. Manly Men Act: Deeds Define Manhood

Action is character.

Beyond Talk. True manhood isn't about discussing values or beliefs; it's about embodying them through action. The modern world is filled with talk, but genuine men distinguish themselves by their deeds, not their words. It's not enough to simply identify as a man; one must do the things that define manhood.

Rejecting Fake Masculinity. The author emphasizes that true manhood is not found in superficial displays of dominance or recklessness. It's not about excessive drinking, objectifying women, or shirking responsibility. These are counterfeits of masculinity, empty gestures that lack the substance of genuine character.

Bold, Caring, Principled. True manhood is characterized by boldness, care, principle, and passion. It's about being a force for good in the world, making a positive impact on family, community, and society. It's about acting in ways that reflect a noble definition of what it means to be a man.

2. Tend Your Territory: Own Your Responsibilities

Manly men tend their fields.

Defining Your Domain. Every man has a "territory," a sphere of responsibility that defines his role in the world. This territory can encompass family, work, community, or any other area where a man has a duty to protect, nurture, and cultivate. The key is to identify this territory and take full ownership of it.

Neglect is the Enemy. The opposite of tending one's territory is neglect, a passive abdication of responsibility. This can manifest in various ways, from neglecting one's family to shirking duties at work. A true man actively guards and cultivates his territory, ensuring its health and well-being.

Faithfulness Leads to Increase. By faithfully tending to the territory assigned to him, a man demonstrates his readiness for greater responsibility. This principle applies to all areas of life, from personal relationships to professional endeavors. Faithfulness in small things leads to increase in larger things.

3. Build Other Men: Manliness is Contagious

Manly men build manly men.

Culture of Manhood. True manhood isn't a solitary pursuit; it's a shared experience that's passed down from one generation to the next. Men learn what it means to be a man by observing and interacting with other men who embody those qualities. This creates a "contagious culture" of manliness that shapes and inspires future generations.

Learning by Example. Young men learn best by watching and emulating older men who live out the virtues of manhood. This can happen through formal mentorship or simply by being in the presence of men who embody courage, integrity, and responsibility. The key is to create an environment where young men can absorb these qualities through osmosis.

Creating a Model. All it takes for a contagious manly culture to form is for one genuine man to live out genuine manhood. It creates a model, something for other men to feed upon and pattern themselves after. It also gives other genuine men a vital connection that sustains and extends who they are.

4. Live for God's Glory: The Source of True Manhood

Manly men live to the glory of God.

Beyond Worldly Approval. True manhood cannot be sustained by seeking applause or approval from the world. These are fleeting and ultimately unsatisfying. Instead, a man must find his purpose and validation in living to the glory of God.

Inner Resources. Men are meant to carry such responsibility that they will descend into exhaustion and resentment if they do not have the inner resources that come from living in connection with God. This comes from being men to the glory of God.

God's Definition of Good. The author emphasizes the importance of aligning one's definition of "good" with God's standards, as revealed in Scripture and the teachings of Jesus. This provides a solid foundation for moral decision-making and prevents men from being swayed by cultural trends or personal preferences.

5. Honor: Reject Smallness, Embrace Nobility

And Yabetz was more honorable than his brothers.

Beyond Biology. Honor is not something inherited; it's a quality of spirit that's cultivated through conscious choices. It's about refusing to settle for the oppressive, the petty, and the unclean, and instead reaching for nobility, abundance, and strength.

Breaking the Curse. Like Jabez, men must actively reject the negative influences that seek to define them, whether it's a bitter family culture or a self-limiting belief. This requires a conscious decision to embrace a grander vision for one's life, a vision rooted in God's promises and one's own potential.

The Power of Heritage. Jabez's story highlights the importance of connecting with one's heritage and drawing strength from the positive examples of ancestors. By embracing the values and traditions of their tribe, men can find inspiration and guidance for their own lives.

6. Legacy: Transform Pain into Purpose

Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong; and a boy deprived of a father’s care often develops, if he escapes the perils of youth, an independence and vigour of thought which may restore in after life the heavy loss of early days.

Finding Meaning in Suffering. Life is inevitably filled with pain and disappointment. The key is to find meaning in these experiences and use them as fuel for growth and purpose. Like Churchill, men must transform their wounds into sources of strength and resilience.

Rejecting Bitterness. It's easy to succumb to bitterness and resentment in the face of hardship. However, true men refuse to let their pain define them. Instead, they choose to see themselves as extensions of the good in their lives, focusing on continuity rather than antagonism.

Great Actions. The author urges men to take "great actions," to stop excusing themselves from duty and to make a difference where they were supposed to be inept. This is the ultimate way to answer the curses of the past and create a legacy of purpose and meaning.

7. Friendship: Forge Covenant Bonds with Men of Spirit

After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.

Beyond Casual Relationships. Modern men often find themselves surrounded by casual relationships but lacking deep, meaningful connections. True friendship requires more than shared interests or activities; it demands a covenant bond built on shared values, mutual support, and a commitment to each other's well-being.

Men of Spirit. Jonathan was drawn to the fire and the grit and the heart of David, to the spirit of God in his life, and loves him for these reasons first. So Jonathan initiated a friendship with covenant through sacrifice and heartfelt honor.

Mutual Defense and Support. All friendship is a form of covenant, a bond of mutual defense and support. And manly men keep their covenants.

8. Blessing: Connect to Heritage and Purpose

I came here to get your blessing, General.

Seeking Generational Connection. Men are designed to live with a sense of connection to their ancestors, to feel they are living out a commission from their fathers. This connection provides a sense of purpose and belonging that transcends the individual.

Restoring Lost Links. For men who have been deprived of a positive father figure, it's important to actively seek out other sources of blessing and connection to the past. This can involve connecting with elderly veterans, studying family history, or crafting personal liturgies.

Blessing Those Who Came Before. The author shares his personal experience of writing a letter to his father, thanking him for the good that had come to him through his life. This act of blessing, even in the absence of a traditional blessing from his father, helped him to connect with his heritage and find a sense of purpose.

9. Quest: Embrace Adventure and Risk

The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure.

Beyond Domestication. Modern life often tames the adventurous spirit within men, leading to a sense of boredom and stagnation. To reclaim their vitality, men must actively seek out new experiences, challenge themselves physically and mentally, and embrace the unknown.

The Call of the Wild. The author uses the example of Jedediah Smith, a legendary explorer and mountain man, to illustrate the importance of embracing the wild and pushing oneself beyond the limits of comfort and security. Smith's life was filled with hardship and danger, but it was also marked by a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Radical Change. The author quotes Jon Krakauer, who urges men to make a radical change in their lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which they may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt.

10. Integrity: Be Sound Through and Through

And Yabetz was more honorable than his brothers.

Beyond Honesty. Integrity is more than just being honest; it's about being sound and whole in every aspect of one's life. It's about aligning one's actions with one's values and living a life that is consistent and authentic.

Standing on Truth. Like Job, men of integrity refuse to compromise their values or distort the truth, even in the face of adversity. They stand firm in their convictions, knowing that their character is more important than worldly success or approval.

The Power of Self-Awareness. Job’s story also teaches the importance of self-awareness and the willingness to admit one’s own shortcomings. It is not a sign of weakness to acknowledge one’s flaws; it is a sign of strength and integrity.

11. Suffering: Battle Your Flaws to Achieve Greatness

Famous men are usually the product of an unhappy childhood.

The Crucible of Character. Many of the greatest men in history have overcome significant challenges and hardships. These experiences, while painful, often serve as a crucible for character, forging resilience, empathy, and a deeper understanding of the human condition.

Turning Wounds into Wisdom. The author uses the examples of Lincoln and Churchill to illustrate how men can transform their personal struggles into sources of strength and inspiration for others. By facing their demons head-on, they can emerge as more compassionate and effective leaders.

Declaring War. The question we all face is not whether or not we have defects. We do. Every one of us. The question is whether we are capable of envisioning a life defined by forces greater than the weight of our flaws.

12. Presence: Radiate Righteousness and Authority

We convince by our presence.

Beyond Physicality. True masculine authority is not about physical strength or dominance; it's about the moral and spiritual presence that a man carries into a room. This presence is a result of a life lived with integrity, purpose, and devotion to God.

Ministry by Presence. The author shares his experience of witnessing the power of presence in the lives of military chaplains, who were able to de-escalate tense situations simply by being present. This highlights the importance of men cultivating a moral and spiritual force field that radiates goodness and righteousness.

The Emanation of a Life. The author concludes by sharing his personal experience of spending time with John Wooden, a legendary basketball coach. He describes how Wooden radiated a sense of authority and tenderness that was palpable to everyone around him. This is the ultimate goal of manly living: to cultivate a presence that inspires and uplifts those in our sphere of influence.

Last updated: February 15, 2025