LET IT GO

1. From Refugee to Tech Pioneer: Embracing Hope and Generosity

I had to make sure that mine was a life that had been worth saving.

Overcoming Adversity. Stephanie Shirley's journey began with the trauma of the Kindertransport, fleeing Nazi-occupied Austria as a child. This experience instilled in her a deep sense of responsibility to make her life meaningful, driven by the generosity of strangers who saved her.

Gratitude in Action. Shirley's life became a testament to repaying the kindness she received. This gratitude fueled her ambition and her commitment to creating opportunities for others, particularly women in the male-dominated tech industry.

• She built a global business empire.
• She founded schools and institutes.
• She exchanged ideas with brilliant minds.

A Life Worth Saving. Shirley's story is a powerful reminder that even in the face of immense adversity, hope and purpose can emerge. Her life's work demonstrates the transformative power of gratitude and the importance of using one's blessings to uplift others.

2. Navigating Identity: From Vera Buchthal to Stephanie Shirley

This was the moment when, to all intents and purposes, my life began.

Reinvention and Adaptation. Vera Buchthal's arrival in England marked not an ending, but a beginning. The adoption of a new name, Stephanie Brook, symbolized a conscious effort to embrace a new identity and integrate into British society.

Embracing Englishness. The choice of "Brook," inspired by Rupert Brooke, and the adoption of "Stephanie" reflected a desire to shed the past and fully embrace her adopted country. This act of reinvention was crucial for her sense of belonging and self-worth.

• She became a British citizen.
• She formally adopted her middle name, Stephanie.
• She chose the anglicized surname of Brook.

The Power of a Name. The later adoption of "Steve Shirley" was a strategic decision to overcome gender bias in the business world. This pragmatic approach highlights the challenges women faced and the creative solutions they employed to succeed.

3. Breaking Barriers: Overcoming Sexism in the Early Tech Industry

You cannot judge people by their appearance.

A Male-Dominated World. Stephanie Shirley entered the tech industry at a time when women were vastly underrepresented and often faced blatant discrimination. She encountered prejudice in promotions, pay, and even basic respect.

Strategic Solutions. To combat this bias, Shirley adopted a male persona, "Steve," in her business dealings. This allowed her to be taken more seriously and gain access to opportunities that might have been denied to a woman.

• She signed letters "Steve Shirley" instead of "Stephanie Shirley."
• She faced unwanted sexual advances.
• She was deemed "too brittle" to survive in business.

Creating Opportunities for Women. Frustrated by the limitations placed on women in the workplace, Shirley founded Freelance Programmers, a company that exclusively employed women working from home. This innovative model provided opportunities for talented women who were often excluded from traditional employment due to family responsibilities.

4. Love, Loss, and Legacy: The Personal Cost of Professional Success

The trouble with your mother is that, whatever I did, she was never satisfied.

A Troubled Marriage. Stephanie Shirley's dedication to her career came at a personal cost. Her marriage to Derek was strained by the demands of her work and the challenges of raising a child with autism.

The Weight of Responsibility. The pressure of running a business and caring for Giles took a toll on Shirley's mental health, leading to a nervous breakdown. This experience highlighted the importance of self-care and the need for support systems.

• She sought medical help.
• She was prescribed Dexamyl.
• She contemplated suicide.

Finding Strength in Vulnerability. Despite the personal struggles, Shirley emerged stronger and more determined. She learned to prioritize her well-being and to seek help when needed. Her story is a reminder that even the most successful individuals face challenges and that vulnerability is not a weakness.

5. A New Vision: Empowering Women Through Flexible Work

To provide jobs for women with children.

Challenging Traditional Norms. Stephanie Shirley's vision for Freelance Programmers was revolutionary for its time. She created a company that valued talent and skills over traditional workplace norms, offering women the opportunity to work from home and balance their careers with family responsibilities.

Flexibility as a Competitive Advantage. By tapping into a pool of highly skilled women who were often excluded from traditional employment, Shirley gained a competitive advantage. Her company benefited from a dedicated and talented workforce that was committed to its success.

• She offered flexible hours.
• She provided home-based work.
• She created a supportive environment.

A Social Mission. Shirley's commitment to empowering women was not just a business strategy; it was a deeply held belief. She saw her company as a vehicle for social change, providing opportunities for women to achieve financial independence and professional fulfillment.

6. The Agony and the Ecstasy: Balancing Business with a Child's Autism

Vera is stupid.

The Unseen Struggle. While building a successful business, Stephanie Shirley faced the immense personal challenge of raising a son with severe autism. Giles's condition presented constant difficulties and required a significant emotional and financial investment.

Navigating Guilt and Grief. Shirley grappled with guilt, grief, and the societal stigma surrounding autism. She faced conflicting advice from medical professionals and struggled to find the best way to care for her son.

• She felt rejected by her mother.
• She felt rejected by her father.
• She felt devalued by her mother's criticisms.

Finding Purpose in Pain. Despite the personal toll, Shirley channeled her experiences into a determination to improve the lives of others affected by autism. This commitment led to the creation of Prior's Court, a school and home for autistic children, and the establishment of the Shirley Foundation.

7. Letting Go: The Evolution of Leadership and Ownership

Research is the door to tomorrow.

From Control to Collaboration. As Freelance Programmers grew, Stephanie Shirley recognized the need to relinquish control and empower others. She transitioned from a hands-on manager to a strategic leader, fostering a culture of shared ownership and responsibility.

Empowering Others. Shirley's decision to cede day-to-day control to Suzette Harold and later to transfer ownership to the workforce was a testament to her belief in the power of collaboration and the importance of empowering employees.

• She appointed Suzette Harold as group managing director.
• She transferred shares to the FI Shareholders' Trust.
• She sold shares to the workforce.

A New Kind of Leadership. Shirley's leadership style evolved from a top-down approach to a more collaborative and empowering model. She recognized that the company's success depended on the collective intelligence and commitment of its workforce.

8. A Philanthropic Turn: From Business Success to Social Impact

You can’t be what you can’t see.

A Legacy of Giving. Having achieved significant financial success, Stephanie Shirley turned her attention to philanthropy. She established the Shirley Foundation to support autism research, education, and other causes.

Strategic Philanthropy. Shirley approached philanthropy with the same entrepreneurial spirit that she had applied to her business. She sought out projects that had the potential for significant social impact and that aligned with her values.

• She supported the Autism Research Centre of Cambridge University.
• She helped establish Autism Cymru.
• She gave a large gift to the Worshipful Company of Information Technologists.

A Lasting Impact. Shirley's philanthropic work has had a profound impact on the lives of countless individuals and families affected by autism. Her commitment to social responsibility serves as an inspiration to others.

9. The Power of Systems: Creating Order from Chaos

Waste not, want not.

Building a Framework for Success. From the early days of Freelance Programmers, Stephanie Shirley recognized the importance of creating systems to manage the company's operations. These systems, though often improvised, were crucial for ensuring quality, efficiency, and scalability.

From Index Cards to Global Networks. Shirley's early systems, such as the index card system for matching programmers to projects, evolved over time to become more sophisticated and technology-driven. This adaptability was key to the company's long-term success.

• She used a card system to manage programmers.
• She developed a system of pink folders.
• She created software standards for Urwick Diebold.

Systems as a Competitive Advantage. The company's commitment to systems not only improved its internal operations but also became a selling point for its services. Clients valued the company's ability to deliver high-quality, reliable solutions.

10. The Unfolding Tapestry: Life's Unexpected Twists and Turns

If a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.

Embracing the Unpredictable. Stephanie Shirley's life has been marked by unexpected twists and turns, from her escape from Nazi Austria to her success in the male-dominated tech industry to her journey as a parent of a child with autism.

Finding Meaning in the Unexpected. Shirley's ability to adapt to change and find meaning in unexpected circumstances has been a key to her resilience and success. She has embraced the challenges that life has presented and used them as opportunities for growth and learning.

• She was sent away on the Kindertransport.
• She faced sexism in the workplace.
• She raised a child with autism.

A Life of Purpose. Stephanie Shirley's story is a testament to the power of resilience, determination, and a commitment to making a difference. Her life serves as an inspiration to others to embrace the unexpected, find purpose in their challenges, and leave a lasting legacy on the world.

Last updated: March 2, 2025