Dead End Gene Pool

1. The Burden family's wealth and eccentricities shape the author's childhood

"It's a testament to his libido, if not his character, that Cornelius Vanderbilt died of syphilis instead of apoplexy."

Gilded Age origins: The Burden family's fortune stems from Cornelius Vanderbilt, the author's great-great-great-great-grandfather. His business acumen in steamships and railroads amassed a fortune worth billions in today's money. This immense wealth set the stage for generations of privilege and eccentricity.

Lavish lifestyles: Subsequent generations of Vanderbilts and Burdens lived in opulent mansions, hosted extravagant parties, and indulged in expensive hobbies. The author's great-grandparents owned multiple homes, including a 110-room Georgian mansion called "Florham." This environment of extreme wealth and luxury shaped the author's early experiences and expectations.

Family quirks: The Burden family's wealth allowed for various eccentricities:

• Collecting modern art and exotic pets
• Employing large staffs of servants
• Maintaining multiple residences across the country
• Pursuing unconventional hobbies and interests
  These quirks became an integral part of the author's childhood, setting her family apart from "normal" society.

2. A dysfunctional mother-daughter relationship forms amid family turmoil

"My mother was nothing if not practical. She owed this trait, her saving grace, to her ancestors."

Absent and unpredictable: The author's mother, Leslie, is frequently absent, traveling the world and pursuing her own interests. When present, she is often unpredictable and emotionally distant. This creates a challenging dynamic for the young author, who craves stability and maternal affection.

Conflicting priorities: Leslie struggles to balance her role as a mother with her desire for independence and adventure. She often prioritizes her own needs over those of her children, leading to feelings of abandonment and resentment.

Generational patterns: The dysfunctional relationship between the author and her mother echoes similar patterns in previous generations of the family. This cycle of emotional distance and unreliable parenting contributes to the ongoing turmoil within the Burden family.

3. The author's struggle for identity in a privileged but unstable environment

"I wanted whatever Will had, but not his school."

Shadow of privilege: Growing up in immense wealth, the author grapples with forming her own identity. She feels overshadowed by her family's legacy and struggles to find her place within it.

Sibling rivalry: The author's relationship with her brother Will is complex. She envies the attention and opportunities he receives but also recognizes the challenges he faces. This dynamic further complicates her search for self.

Coping mechanisms: To navigate her unstable environment, the author develops various coping strategies:

• Embracing macabre interests (mortuary science, the Addams Family)
• Seeking attention through rebellious behavior
• Forming attachments to household staff and extended family members
  These mechanisms help her create a sense of control and identity in an otherwise chaotic world.

4. Alcoholism and mental health issues plague the extended family

"Alcoholism never suited my grandmother, though. Whereas her husband, when over-served, would simply pass out in situ, my grandmother would dance among the goldfish or crash to the floor in a maelstrom of Dior, pearls, and poodles."

Generational struggle: Alcoholism runs rampant through multiple generations of the Burden family. The author's grandparents, parents, and siblings all battle addiction in various forms.

Mental health challenges: Beyond alcoholism, the family faces a range of mental health issues:

• Depression and suicide attempts
• Anxiety and obsessive behaviors
• Personality disorders and eccentricities
  These challenges are often exacerbated by the family's wealth and social status, which can mask or enable destructive behaviors.

Impact on relationships: The prevalence of addiction and mental health issues strains family relationships. The author witnesses the deterioration of her grandparents' health and dignity, her mother's erratic behavior, and her siblings' struggles with substance abuse. This environment of instability profoundly shapes her worldview and emotional development.

5. The author's experiences in England highlight cultural differences and challenges

"Call me unpatriotic, but if you'd been trailed home from school every day by a pack of mercenaries in blazers and kilts who, because of some genetic xenophobia, felt the need to verbally disembowel you (Get lost, you bleedin' Yank! Go back to the colonies! Yeah—fuck off an' bloody stay there!), you'd have cut up your American passport with pinking shears too."

Culture shock: The author's move to England with her mother and stepfather presents a stark contrast to her privileged American upbringing. She struggles to fit in at her new school and in British society at large.

Identity crisis: The experience of being an outsider in England forces the author to confront her American identity. She grapples with feelings of alienation and a desire to assimilate, leading to further confusion about her sense of self.

Coping through rebellion: To navigate her new environment, the author adopts rebellious behaviors and a cynical attitude. She finds solace in counterculture and forms friendships with other outsiders, helping her create a sense of belonging in an unfamiliar world.

6. The decline of the author's grandparents mirrors the family's fading legacy

"Jesus, I thought, has the cypress paneling always been that screaming-loud turquoise? And what's with all the Matisse paper collages? There must have been a dozen of them struggling for exhibition space amid the jumble of aeronautic prints and autographed headshots of Gemini and Apollo mission astronauts."

Physical deterioration: The author witnesses the gradual decline of her once-powerful grandparents. Their physical and mental health deteriorates, symbolizing the fading glory of the Burden family legacy.

Loss of status: As the grandparents age, their influence in society wanes. The author observes the contrast between their former prominence and their current state, highlighting the transient nature of wealth and power.

Shifting family dynamics: The grandparents' decline forces a redistribution of family roles and responsibilities. The author and her siblings must confront the reality of their family's changing circumstances and their own places within it.

7. The author's siblings face their own struggles with addiction and depression

"Edward was now an immensely unhappy ninth grader. One beautiful Indian summer day in October he decided he wouldn't get out of his dorm room bunk bed and that he would lie there until he died."

Will's addiction: The author's older brother, Will, battles alcoholism and drug addiction. His struggles lead him to rehab and force the family to confront the generational pattern of substance abuse.

Edward's depression: The youngest sibling, Edward, grapples with severe depression and suicidal thoughts. His struggles echo those of their father, who died by suicide years earlier.

Family response: The siblings' challenges elicit varied responses from family members:

• Denial and minimization of the problems
• Attempts at intervention and support
• Exacerbation of existing family tensions
  These responses reveal the complex dynamics within the family and the difficulty of breaking destructive patterns.

8. The family's obsession with status and appearances masks underlying issues

"Being considered a foreigner had never occurred to me, what with the Mayflower and all that."

Social expectations: The Burden family places immense importance on maintaining their social status and adhering to upper-class norms. This preoccupation often comes at the expense of addressing deeper emotional and psychological issues.

Facade of perfection: The family goes to great lengths to present a polished image to the world, even as internal struggles threaten to unravel their carefully constructed facade. This dichotomy between appearance and reality creates additional stress for family members.

Generational pressure: The author and her siblings feel the weight of their family's legacy and the expectation to uphold its prestige. This pressure contributes to their individual struggles and complicates their attempts to forge their own identities.

Last updated: January 24, 2025