We Should All Be Feminists

1. Feminism is misunderstood and stigmatized

Of course much of this was tongue-in-cheek, but what it shows is how that word feminist is so heavy with baggage, negative baggage: you hate men, you hate bras, you hate African culture, you think women should always be in charge, you don't wear make-up, you don't shave, you're always angry, you don't have a sense of humour, you don't use deodorant.

Misconceptions abound. Feminism is often misinterpreted as man-hating or anti-culture, when in reality it's about equality and fairness. These misconceptions stem from societal biases and lack of understanding about the true nature of feminism.

Common misconceptions about feminists:

• They hate men
• They reject traditional culture
• They are always angry
• They don't care about their appearance

These stereotypes prevent many from identifying as feminists, even if they believe in gender equality. By addressing these misconceptions, we can create a more inclusive and accurate understanding of feminism.

2. Gender roles are socially constructed, not biological

Gender matters everywhere in the world. And I would like today to ask that we should begin to dream about and plan for a different world. A fairer world. A world of happier men and happier women who are truer to themselves.

Nature vs. nurture. While biological differences exist between sexes, many gender roles are socially constructed and reinforced. These artificial distinctions limit both men and women from reaching their full potential.

Examples of socially constructed gender roles:

• Women as primary caregivers
• Men as breadwinners
• Girls playing with dolls, boys with cars
• Women being emotional, men being stoic

By recognizing these roles as social constructs rather than biological imperatives, we can challenge and change them to create a more equitable society.

3. Societal expectations limit both men and women

We do a great disservice to boys in how we raise them. We stifle the humanity of boys. We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity is a hard, small cage, and we put boys inside this cage.

Rigid expectations harm everyone. Society's narrow definitions of masculinity and femininity restrict personal growth and expression for both genders. Men are often expected to be tough and unemotional, while women are expected to be nurturing and passive.

Ways societal expectations limit individuals:

• Men discouraged from showing vulnerability
• Women discouraged from being assertive
• Career choices based on gender stereotypes
• Relationship dynamics dictated by traditional roles

By challenging these expectations, we can create a society that allows individuals to express themselves authentically, regardless of gender.

4. Women face systemic discrimination and invisibility

Gender as it functions today is a grave injustice. I am angry. We should all be angry. Anger has a long history of bringing about positive change.

Invisible barriers persist. Despite progress, women continue to face discrimination in various aspects of life, from workplace inequalities to social interactions. This systemic bias often goes unnoticed or is dismissed by those who don't experience it directly.

Examples of systemic discrimination against women:

• Wage gap
• Underrepresentation in leadership positions
• Sexual harassment and violence
• Unequal domestic responsibilities

Recognizing and addressing these issues is crucial for achieving true gender equality. Anger can be a powerful motivator for change when channeled constructively.

5. Men are confined by narrow definitions of masculinity

But by far the worst thing we do to males – by making them feel they have to be hard – is that we leave them with very fragile egos. The harder a man feels compelled to be, the weaker his ego is.

Toxic masculinity hurts men. Societal expectations of men to be tough, unemotional, and dominant can lead to fragile egos and harmful behaviors. This narrow definition of masculinity prevents men from expressing their full range of emotions and experiences.

Consequences of narrow masculine ideals:

• Suppression of emotions
• Reluctance to seek help
• Aggressive behavior
• Difficulty forming deep relationships

By expanding our definition of masculinity, we can create a healthier environment for men to express themselves authentically and form stronger connections with others.

6. Girls are taught to shrink themselves and cater to male egos

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller.

Self-limitation starts early. From a young age, girls are often taught to be accommodating, quiet, and less ambitious to avoid threatening male egos. This socialization can have long-lasting effects on women's confidence and career aspirations.

Ways girls are taught to shrink themselves:

• Downplaying achievements
• Avoiding assertiveness
• Prioritizing others' needs over their own
• Limiting career ambitions

By encouraging girls to embrace their full potential and express themselves confidently, we can help create a more balanced and equitable society.

7. Gender equality benefits everyone

Imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to be our true individual selves, if we didn't have the weight of gender expectations.

A rising tide lifts all boats. Gender equality isn't just about improving women's lives; it benefits everyone by allowing individuals to pursue their interests and talents without arbitrary limitations. This leads to a more diverse, innovative, and harmonious society.

Benefits of gender equality:

• Increased economic productivity
• Improved mental health for all genders
• More balanced relationships
• Diverse perspectives in decision-making

By working towards gender equality, we create a society where everyone can thrive and contribute their unique talents and perspectives.

8. Change begins with raising children differently

What if, in raising children, we focus on ability instead of gender? What if we focus on interest instead of gender?

Break the cycle. To create lasting change, we must start by raising children without rigid gender expectations. This allows them to develop their interests and abilities based on individual preferences rather than societal norms.

Ways to raise children without gender bias:

• Encourage diverse interests and activities
• Avoid gendered language and stereotypes
• Provide equal opportunities and responsibilities
• Model equality in relationships

By raising children with a more open and inclusive mindset, we can create a generation that naturally embraces gender equality.

9. Embracing femininity is not a weakness

I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femininity. And I want to be respected in all my femaleness. Because I deserve to be.

Strength in authenticity. Embracing traditionally feminine traits or interests should not be seen as a weakness or a contradiction to being a strong, capable individual. True empowerment comes from being authentic to oneself, regardless of gender norms.

Ways to embrace femininity without apology:

• Wear what makes you feel confident
• Express emotions openly
• Pursue interests regardless of gender associations
• Demand respect for your whole self

By valuing traditionally feminine traits equally to masculine ones, we create a more balanced and inclusive society.

10. Men must actively participate in gender equality

Men need to speak out in all of these ostensibly small situations.

Allyship is crucial. Gender equality cannot be achieved without the active participation of men. Men must recognize their privileges and use their positions to challenge sexist behaviors and attitudes, even in seemingly small situations.

Ways men can actively support gender equality:

• Call out sexist behavior
• Advocate for equal opportunities in workplaces
• Share domestic responsibilities
• Listen to and amplify women's voices

By engaging men as allies, we can accelerate progress towards gender equality and create a more just society for all.

11. Culture evolves, and harmful practices can be changed

Culture is constantly changing.

Tradition is not destiny. Cultural practices that perpetuate gender inequality are not immutable. By recognizing that culture is dynamic and can be intentionally shaped, we can work towards eliminating harmful traditions and creating more equitable ones.

Examples of cultural changes:

• Abandonment of twin infanticide in Igbo culture
• Increased acceptance of women in leadership roles
• Evolving definitions of marriage and family
• Changing beauty standards

By actively questioning and reshaping cultural norms, we can create traditions that support gender equality and human rights for all.

Last updated: January 22, 2025