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The Tech-Wise Family

The Tech-Wise Family

Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place
by Andy Crouch 2017 224 pages
4.25
7k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Technology should serve, not dominate, family life

Technology is in its proper place when it helps us bond with the real people we have been given to love.

Technology as a tool. The Crouch family advocates for intentional and careful use of technology, rather than letting it take over our lives. They suggest placing devices at the edges of our living spaces and filling the center with activities that reward creativity and engagement. This approach helps maintain a balance between utilizing technology's benefits and preventing it from dominating family interactions.

Wisdom and courage. The authors emphasize that the primary purpose of family life is to develop wisdom and courage in its members. Technology, while useful, doesn't inherently foster these qualities. By limiting technology's role, families can focus on activities and interactions that truly build character and deepen relationships.

Practical steps:

  • Place devices in less central locations in the home
  • Establish tech-free zones or times for family interaction
  • Use technology purposefully, not mindlessly

2. Create a home centered on creativity, not consumption

We want to create more than we consume. So we fill the center of our home with things that reward skill and active engagement.

Engaging environment. The Crouches recommend structuring the home's central spaces around activities that require skill and active participation. This approach encourages family members to be creators rather than passive consumers of entertainment or information.

Embodied learning. Research shows that the richest learning experiences are embodied ones, involving physical activity and engagement with the real world. By prioritizing hands-on activities over screen-based ones, families can foster deeper learning and skill development.

Ideas for creative engagement:

  • Musical instruments
  • Art supplies
  • Board games
  • Books
  • Craft materials
  • Cooking equipment

3. Embrace regular tech-free periods for rest and connection

We are designed for a rhythm of work and rest. So one hour a day, one day a week, and one week a year, we turn off our devices and worship, feast, play, and rest together.

Sabbath principle. Drawing from the biblical concept of Sabbath, the authors suggest implementing regular periods of rest from technology. This practice helps families reconnect with each other, their faith, and the physical world around them.

Rhythms of disconnection. The book recommends three levels of tech-free time:

  • One hour daily (e.g., during dinner)
  • One day weekly (e.g., Sundays)
  • One week yearly (e.g., during vacation)

These periods of disconnection provide opportunities for deeper conversation, shared activities, and spiritual reflection that are often crowded out by constant connectivity.

4. Prioritize sleep and morning routines over device use

We wake up before our devices do, and they "go to bed" before we do.

Sleep hygiene. The authors emphasize the importance of good sleep habits, which are often disrupted by late-night device use. They suggest creating a "bedroom" for devices away from sleeping areas and establishing a nighttime routine that doesn't involve screens.

Mindful mornings. Starting the day without immediately checking devices allows for a more intentional and peaceful beginning. This practice can include activities like stretching, prayer, or simply enjoying a quiet moment before engaging with the digital world.

Practical tips:

  • Use a traditional alarm clock instead of a phone
  • Charge devices in a central location overnight
  • Establish a morning routine that doesn't involve screens

5. Limit children's screen time, especially in early years

We aim for "no screens before double digits" at school and at home.

Early childhood development. The authors argue that the first decade of life should be as screen-free as possible to allow for rich, embodied learning experiences. This approach helps children develop important physical, social, and cognitive skills that may be hindered by excessive screen time.

Alternative activities. Instead of relying on screens for entertainment or education, families are encouraged to engage children in:

  • Outdoor play
  • Reading physical books
  • Hands-on crafts and projects
  • Face-to-face social interactions
  • Imaginative play

Gradual introduction. As children approach their teenage years, technology can be introduced more deliberately, with ongoing parental guidance and clear boundaries.

6. Use car time for meaningful conversations, not entertainment

Car time is conversation time.

Captive audience. The authors point out that car rides provide a unique opportunity for uninterrupted family conversation. Without the distractions of home or individual devices, family members can engage in deeper discussions.

Building connection. Regular car conversations can help families:

  • Share daily experiences
  • Discuss important topics
  • Develop listening skills
  • Strengthen bonds between parents and children

Alternatives to screens:

  • Audio books for shared listening
  • Word games or storytelling
  • Singing together
  • Simply enjoying each other's company in conversation

7. Foster transparency and accountability with technology use

Spouses have one another's passwords, and parents have total access to children's devices.

Open communication. The authors advocate for a family culture of technological transparency. This approach helps prevent secretive or harmful online behaviors and fosters trust between family members.

Parental guidance. For children and teenagers, having parents involved in their online lives provides an opportunity for guidance and protection as they navigate the digital world.

Practical steps:

  • Share passwords between spouses
  • Regularly review children's device usage together
  • Discuss online experiences as a family
  • Use filtering and monitoring software as needed

8. Cultivate family worship through singing together

We learn to sing together, rather than letting recorded and amplified music take over our lives and worship.

Active participation. The authors emphasize the importance of singing as a form of worship that engages heart, mind, soul, and strength. They encourage families to sing together both at home and in church, rather than relying solely on passive listening to recorded music.

Benefits of family singing:

  • Develops musical skills
  • Strengthens family bonds
  • Enhances worship experiences
  • Provides a shared cultural and spiritual heritage

Practical suggestions:

  • Learn hymns or worship songs together
  • Sing during daily activities like chores or car rides
  • Attend church services that encourage congregational singing
  • Create family traditions around music during holidays

9. Show up in person for life's significant moments

We show up in person for the big events of life. We learn how to be human by being fully present at our moments of greatest vulnerability.

Physical presence. Despite the convenience of technology for remote communication, the authors stress the irreplaceable value of being physically present for important life events like weddings, funerals, and births.

Commitment to community. By prioritizing attendance at these events, families demonstrate their commitment to their broader community and social network. This practice helps build and maintain strong relationships outside the immediate family unit.

Learning humanity. Being present during moments of joy, grief, and vulnerability teaches children (and adults) important lessons about empathy, support, and the human experience that can't be fully conveyed through digital means.

Last updated:

FAQ

What's "The Tech-Wise Family" about?

  • Focus on Technology's Role: "The Tech-Wise Family" by Andy Crouch explores how families can manage technology to ensure it enhances rather than hinders their lives.
  • Practical Guidance: The book provides everyday steps and commitments for families to put technology in its proper place, emphasizing character development and family bonding.
  • Cultural Insight: It examines the cultural impact of technology on family dynamics and offers a Christian perspective on living a balanced life.
  • Research-Based: The book includes research from the Barna Group, providing data on how technology affects family life.

Why should I read "The Tech-Wise Family"?

  • Practical Advice: The book offers actionable steps for families struggling to balance technology use with meaningful family interactions.
  • Cultural Relevance: It addresses a pressing issue in modern society, where technology often dominates family life.
  • Christian Perspective: For those interested in a faith-based approach, it provides insights grounded in Christian values.
  • Research-Backed: The inclusion of Barna Group's research adds credibility and depth to the discussion.

What are the key takeaways of "The Tech-Wise Family"?

  • Ten Tech-Wise Commitments: The book outlines ten commitments families can make to manage technology effectively.
  • Character Development: Emphasizes the importance of developing wisdom and courage within the family unit.
  • Intentional Technology Use: Encourages using technology with purpose and intention, rather than aimlessly.
  • Family Bonding: Highlights the importance of creating spaces and times for family bonding without technological distractions.

What are the Ten Tech-Wise Commitments?

  • Develop Wisdom and Courage: Families should focus on cultivating these traits together.
  • Create More Than Consume: Fill the home with activities that reward skill and engagement.
  • Rhythm of Work and Rest: Dedicate time to disconnect from devices and engage in rest and worship.
  • Device Bedtimes: Ensure devices "go to bed" before family members do, promoting better sleep habits.

How does Andy Crouch suggest families manage screen time?

  • No Screens Before Double Digits: Crouch advises limiting screen exposure for children under ten to encourage real-world learning.
  • Purposeful Use: Screens should be used for specific, intentional purposes rather than as a default activity.
  • Family Engagement: Encourage using screens together as a family rather than in isolation.
  • Daily and Weekly Breaks: Implement regular breaks from screens to foster creativity and rest.

What is the significance of "Shaping Space" in the book?

  • Central Spaces: Crouch suggests filling the central areas of the home with items that encourage creativity and interaction.
  • Reduce Technology's Presence: Move technology to the periphery to prevent it from dominating family life.
  • Encourage Engagement: Use the home environment to promote activities that require skill and active participation.
  • Create a Tech-Wise Home: The goal is to create a living space that naturally encourages family bonding and creativity.

How does "The Tech-Wise Family" address the issue of boredom?

  • Boredom as a Signal: Boredom is seen as a sign that one's capacity for wonder and attention needs nurturing.
  • Avoid Easy Fixes: Resist the temptation to use screens as a quick fix for boredom.
  • Encourage Exploration: Promote activities that require creativity and exploration to combat boredom.
  • Develop Patience and Attention: By not defaulting to screens, families can develop patience and the ability to appreciate the ordinary.

What role does singing play in "The Tech-Wise Family"?

  • Singing Together: Crouch emphasizes the importance of singing as a family to foster unity and worship.
  • Beyond Consumption: Encourages families to create music together rather than just consuming it.
  • Worship and Community: Singing is seen as a vital part of worship and community life, enhancing spiritual and emotional connections.
  • Develops Heart, Mind, Soul, and Strength: Singing engages all aspects of a person, making it a holistic activity.

How does the book suggest handling technology in the bedroom?

  • Device-Free Bedrooms: Crouch advises keeping devices out of the bedroom to promote better sleep and reduce distractions.
  • Establish Bedtime Routines: Encourage routines that involve reading or conversation instead of screen time.
  • Promote Restful Sleep: By removing screens, families can ensure a more restful and rejuvenating sleep environment.
  • Focus on Relationships: Without screens, the bedroom becomes a place for rest and intimate family interactions.

What are some of the best quotes from "The Tech-Wise Family" and what do they mean?

  • "Technology is in its proper place when it helps us bond with the real people we have been given to love." This quote emphasizes the book's core message that technology should enhance, not replace, real human connections.
  • "We are meant to spur one another along on the way to a better life, the life that really is life." It highlights the importance of community and family in achieving a fulfilling life.
  • "We are meant for so much more than technology can ever give us." This underscores the book's theme that true fulfillment comes from relationships and personal growth, not technological convenience.

How does "The Tech-Wise Family" address the issue of pornography?

  • Healthy Immune System: The book suggests building a life full of meaningful activities and relationships to naturally resist pornography.
  • Transparency and Accountability: Encourages families to have open access to each other's devices to foster trust and accountability.
  • Filters and Boundaries: Recommends using internet filters and setting boundaries to protect against exposure.
  • Focus on Relationships: Emphasizes the importance of strong family bonds to counteract the allure of pornography.

What is the overall message of "The Tech-Wise Family"?

  • Intentional Living: The book advocates for living intentionally with technology, ensuring it serves the family's values and goals.
  • Family First: Emphasizes the importance of prioritizing family relationships over technological convenience.
  • Developing Character: Focuses on using family life to develop wisdom and courage in all members.
  • Balanced Approach: Encourages a balanced approach to technology, using it as a tool rather than letting it dominate life.

Review Summary

4.25 out of 5
Average of 7k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

The Tech-Wise Family receives mostly positive reviews, praised for its practical advice on balancing technology use in families. Readers appreciate Crouch's personal experiences and the book's emphasis on creating rather than consuming. Some find certain suggestions extreme or pretentious, but many report implementing positive changes after reading. Critics note a lack of biblical support and oversimplification of leisure versus rest. Overall, the book is seen as thought-provoking and valuable for families navigating technology use.

Your rating:

About the Author

Andy Crouch is a prominent Christian author and speaker with extensive experience in religious publishing and communication. He served as an editor at Christianity Today for twelve years, including as executive editor from 2012 to 2016. Crouch has written for major publications and received recognition for his work. He is involved with various Christian organizations, serving on boards of theological institutions. With a background in classics and theology, Crouch also has experience in campus ministry and music. His diverse skills and education contribute to his unique perspective on faith and culture.

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