How to Have a Good Day

1. Set intentions and frame your day positively

We miss a big opportunity if we simply let the day happen to us.

Shape your reality. Our brains filter information based on our priorities and assumptions, creating a subjective experience of reality. By consciously setting intentions for the day, we can influence what our brain perceives as important. This process involves three steps: defining your aim (what really matters for success), checking your attitude (acknowledging and managing concerns), and directing your attention (deciding what to focus on).

Challenge assumptions. Our automatic biases can lead us to confirm existing beliefs and miss important information. To counteract this, actively look for evidence that contradicts your assumptions. Use "absolute language" (e.g., "always," "never") as a cue to question your perspective. By adopting a more open-minded approach, you can broaden your perception and make better decisions.

2. Focus on one task at a time to boost productivity

We feel busier, but we're doing less, and doing it less well.

Singletasking trumps multitasking. Research shows that attempting to multitask can reduce productivity by up to 40% and increase errors. Our brain's deliberate system can only focus on one task at a time, so rapid switching between tasks costs time and mental energy.

Implement focused work sessions. To maximize productivity:

• Batch similar tasks together (e.g., email, creative work, meetings)
• Create uninterrupted blocks of time for deep work
• Remove distractions by turning off notifications and closing unnecessary tabs
• Use techniques like the Pomodoro method (25 minutes of focused work followed by a 5-minute break)
• Build up your concentration stamina gradually

3. Take regular breaks to maintain peak performance

We make better use of our mental energy if we carve out a little time to recharge and reflect during the day, rather than pushing ourselves from appointment to appointment without any breathing space in between.

Strategic downtime boosts productivity. Research shows that our brain's deliberate system, responsible for complex thinking and self-control, becomes fatigued with continuous use. Taking regular breaks helps maintain peak performance:

• Plan short breaks between different types of tasks
• Never work for more than 90 minutes without a brief pause
• Use breaks for physical movement, mindfulness, or a change of scenery
• Schedule meetings for 45 minutes instead of an hour to create buffer time

Reflection enhances learning. Taking time to reflect on experiences and lessons learned improves retention and performance. Implement practices like:

• Briefly reviewing key takeaways after meetings or completing tasks
• Keeping a work journal to capture insights and progress
• Discussing learnings with colleagues to reinforce understanding

4. Overcome overload by prioritizing effectively

Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats.

Identify what truly matters. When feeling overwhelmed, focus on determining the most critical tasks:

• Ask yourself: "What really matters most right now?"
• Identify the smallest first step you can take to move forward
• Use the "comparative advantage" principle to delegate tasks others can do

Learn to say no effectively. Use the "positive no" technique to decline requests while maintaining relationships:

1. Start with warmth and appreciation
2. Present your priority or commitment
3. Decline the request
4. End with warmth or an alternative suggestion

Establish clear boundaries. Communicate your limits clearly and consistently to manage workload and expectations. Use phrases like "I have a hard stop at..." to signal time constraints without extensive explanations.

5. Build rapport and resolve tensions in relationships

We are far less at the mercy of others' moods than we often assume—and that's what I'll show you in this part of the book.

Create connection through quality interactions. Build rapport by:

• Asking open-ended questions that invite sharing of thoughts and feelings
• Demonstrating genuine curiosity and active listening
• Finding common ground to create an "in-group" feeling
• Using reciprocal disclosure to encourage openness

Navigate conflicts constructively. When tensions arise:

• Find common ground by articulating the other person's perspective fairly
• Identify shared goals and areas of agreement
• Isolate the true points of disagreement
• Explore how both perspectives could be valid
• Focus on solutions based on common ground

Assume good intentions. When faced with challenging behavior, consider the "good person, bad circumstances" approach. Identify potential triggers for defensive reactions and seek to understand the underlying needs or concerns driving the behavior.

6. Make wise decisions by engaging your deliberate system

To be as thoughtful as Vivek in noticing when your deliberate system needs refreshing, look out for these signs that it's not functioning at its best.

Recognize automatic shortcuts. Our brain's automatic system uses various shortcuts (heuristics) to conserve mental energy. Be aware of common biases like:

• Confirmation bias: Seeking information that confirms existing beliefs
• Recency bias: Overemphasizing recent events or information
• Default bias: Preferring the status quo or easiest option

Implement decision-making safeguards. To engage your deliberate system and make wiser choices:

• Use cross-check routines (e.g., "Don't default," "Devil's advocate," "Pre-mortem")
• Seek diverse perspectives to challenge your assumptions
• Reframe dilemmas using "could" instead of "should" to encourage creative problem-solving

Monitor your mental state. Be aware of signs that your deliberate system is fatigued, such as:

• Feeling impatient or irritable
• Difficulty concentrating
• Making small mistakes or saying clumsy things
  When you notice these signs, take a break or use extra caution in decision-making.

7. Boost your influence through effective communication

Processing fluency should be a primary goal in your communication, whether you're writing or speaking.

Capture attention. To get your message through others' mental filters:

• Provide a reward (surprise, novelty, or anticipation)
• Emphasize the human angle with stories and emotion
• Make your message "fluent" (easy to understand and remember)

Persuade effectively. To increase the chances of your ideas being adopted:

• Provide context and reasons for your requests
• Make it easy for others to choose your preferred option (e.g., remove barriers, make concrete suggestions)
• Bring benefits to life by painting a vivid picture of positive outcomes
• Use social proof to show how others have already embraced your idea
• Get people involved in shaping the solution to increase buy-in

Project confidence. Enhance your impact by:

• Reframing nerves as excitement
• Connecting to your values and bigger purpose
• Using power poses to boost your confidence
• Highlighting your achievements in a way that's relevant to others

8. Cultivate resilience to navigate setbacks

We're surprisingly resilient in the long term. As Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert has shown in his decades of research on affective forecasting, we have a tendency to overestimate the personal impact of every life event, good or bad.

Manage your emotional response. Use these techniques to regain equilibrium:

• Label your emotions to reduce their impact
• Get psychological distance by adopting a third-person perspective
• Reappraise situations to find alternative interpretations
• Ask rewarding questions that shift your focus (e.g., "What can I learn from this?")

Move forward constructively. When faced with setbacks:

• Ditch sunk costs by focusing on future benefits rather than past investments
• Use distancing techniques to gain perspective (e.g., "How will I view this in a year?")
• Frame challenges positively to encourage problem-solving (e.g., "What's our ideal outcome?")

Handle others' mistakes gracefully. When someone lets you down:

• Avoid pushing them deeper into defensive mode
• Focus on solutions rather than blame
• Use distancing techniques and rewarding questions to reduce stress levels

9. Leverage the mind-body connection for better performance

We process and recall concrete words that we can picture (e.g., "animal," "chair," "coffee") more readily than abstract concepts (e.g., "seniority," "justice," "patience").

Prioritize sleep. Adequate sleep is crucial for cognitive function and emotional regulation. Aim for 7-9 hours per night and create a sleep-friendly environment by:

• Limiting exposure to blue light before bedtime
• Establishing a consistent sleep routine
• Using naps strategically when needed

Incorporate regular exercise. Even moderate physical activity can boost mood, reduce stress, and improve cognitive function:

• Aim for at least 20 minutes of moderate exercise daily
• Use exercise as a tool to clear your head and regain perspective
• Consider breaking up exercise into shorter sessions throughout the day

Practice mindfulness. Regular mindfulness practice can enhance focus, emotional regulation, and resilience:

• Start with short sessions (e.g., 5 minutes) and gradually increase duration
• Use simple techniques like focusing on your breath or body sensations
• Incorporate mindfulness into daily activities (e.g., mindful walking, eating)

10. Increase energy and enthusiasm in your work

As in any soap opera, even when we're surrounded with talented, likeable people, there can be misunderstandings.

Cultivate positive emotions. Boost your mood and energy with simple practices:

• Practice gratitude by noting three good things daily
• Perform random acts of kindness
• Find something interesting in mundane tasks
• Give yourself quick wins by setting and achieving small goals

Connect with others. Social connections are a powerful source of well-being:

• Make time for meaningful interactions with colleagues and friends
• Turn transactions into brief, positive exchanges
• Seek out people who radiate positive energy

Find personal purpose. Tap into intrinsic motivation by:

• Identifying how your work aligns with your values
• Connecting daily tasks to larger, meaningful goals
• Focusing on the impact of your work on others

By implementing these strategies, you can create more good days at work, boosting your productivity, relationships, and overall well-being.

Last updated: January 24, 2025