Reboot

1. Better humans make better leaders

I believe that better humans make better leaders. I further believe that the process of learning to lead well can help us become better humans.

Leadership as personal growth. The journey of leadership is intrinsically linked to personal development. As we face the challenges of leading others, we are forced to confront our own shortcomings, fears, and limiting beliefs. This process of self-discovery and growth not only makes us better leaders but also better human beings.

Authenticity in leadership. True leadership emerges when we bring our whole selves to the table, including our vulnerabilities and imperfections. By embracing our humanity, we create a space for others to do the same, fostering a culture of trust, openness, and genuine connection. This authenticity allows for more effective communication, decision-making, and problem-solving within organizations.

2. Radical self-inquiry is the path to authentic leadership

Radical self-inquiry is how we learn to become more of ourselves, more like ourselves, more authentic. More human.

Confronting inner truths. Radical self-inquiry involves asking difficult questions about our motivations, fears, and beliefs. It requires us to look beyond the surface-level explanations we often give ourselves and others, and to dig deeper into the root causes of our behaviors and reactions.

Tools for self-discovery:

• Journaling
• Meditation
• Seeking feedback from others
• Therapy or coaching
• Regular self-reflection practices

By engaging in these practices, leaders can gain a clearer understanding of themselves, their strengths, and their areas for growth. This self-awareness forms the foundation for authentic leadership, allowing leaders to act with integrity and make decisions aligned with their true values.

3. Embrace the 'Irrational Other' to understand yourself

Listening, I've come to understand, is bearing witness to lives unfolding, to lives being discovered.

The mirror of relationships. Our interactions with others, especially those we find challenging or "irrational," often reflect our own unresolved issues and insecurities. By embracing these difficult relationships and seeking to understand them, we gain valuable insights into ourselves.

Practicing empathy and curiosity:

• Suspend judgment
• Listen actively
• Seek to understand the other's perspective
• Reflect on your own reactions and triggers

By approaching challenging relationships with openness and curiosity, leaders can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth and deeper understanding, both of themselves and others.

4. Stand still in empty time to find your true path

To let the forest find you, he says, you've got to stand still.

Embracing stillness. In a world that constantly demands action and progress, standing still can feel counterintuitive. However, it is often in these moments of stillness and apparent "emptiness" that we gain clarity about our true path and purpose.

Practices for finding stillness:

• Mindfulness meditation
• Time in nature
• Regular "unplugged" periods
• Intentional pauses throughout the day

By creating space for stillness and reflection, leaders can tap into their inner wisdom, make more aligned decisions, and navigate challenges with greater clarity and purpose.

5. Leadership is a journey of self-actualization

Work—our careers, our professions, our jobs—is neither the blissful expression of deep purpose nor the dreadful obligation that stands in the way of being ourselves. Work is an opportunity for a daily realignment of the inner and outer, a daily do-over of life expressed with integrity.

Integrating personal and professional growth. Leadership provides a unique opportunity to align our inner values with our outer actions. As we face leadership challenges, we are called to grow not just in our professional skills, but in our character and self-understanding.

Key areas of self-actualization through leadership:

• Emotional intelligence
• Ethical decision-making
• Conflict resolution
• Vision and purpose alignment
• Personal accountability

By viewing leadership as a journey of self-actualization, we can approach our work with greater meaning and fulfillment, while also becoming more effective leaders.

6. Heartbreak and resilience pave the way to equanimity

Heartbreak is universal. Keeping one's heart open to the suffering of others, even upon the failure of our companies and the death of a tree, is rare and the truest grit of all.

Embracing vulnerability. True resilience comes not from avoiding pain, but from learning to keep our hearts open in the face of adversity. By allowing ourselves to fully experience heartbreak and loss, we develop a deeper capacity for empathy and connection.

Building resilience:

• Practice self-compassion
• Cultivate a growth mindset
• Develop a support network
• Find meaning in challenges
• Practice mindfulness and presence

As leaders develop this resilience, they become better equipped to navigate the inevitable ups and downs of business and life, while maintaining a sense of equanimity and purpose.

7. Loving your inner critic unlocks your potential

If we're truly to inquire within, if we're truly to care to look and remember what it is we believe, if we're to build organizations in which we tell people what's really going on lest they "make shit up," then we must be willing to open to the reality of life just as it is.

Befriending the inner critic. Our inner critic, often seen as an enemy, can actually be a powerful ally when approached with curiosity and compassion. By understanding the protective intentions behind our self-criticism, we can harness its energy for growth and self-improvement.

Steps to transform self-criticism:

1. Recognize the critic's voice
2. Explore its origins and intentions
3. Reframe critical thoughts constructively
4. Practice self-compassion
5. Use the critic's energy for motivation and growth

By learning to work with, rather than against, our inner critic, leaders can unlock greater creativity, confidence, and authenticity in their work and relationships.

8. True grit comes from self-forgiveness and purpose

True grit is kind. True grit is persistent. True grit persists not in holding on to false beliefs against all evidence but in believing in one's inherent lovability and worthiness.

Redefining resilience. True grit isn't about pushing through pain or ignoring failure. It's about maintaining a sense of self-worth and purpose in the face of challenges, and having the courage to learn and grow from setbacks.

Cultivating true grit:

• Practice self-forgiveness
• Clarify your core values and purpose
• Embrace failure as a learning opportunity
• Develop a growth mindset
• Build a supportive community

By developing this kind of grit, leaders can navigate challenges with greater ease and inspire their teams to do the same, creating more resilient and adaptive organizations.

9. Becoming a leader is intertwined with becoming yourself

Leadership lessons, then, are, at their core, lessons in humanity.

Authenticity as leadership. The process of becoming an effective leader is inseparable from the journey of becoming our truest, most authentic selves. As we grow in self-awareness and self-acceptance, we naturally become more effective and inspiring leaders.

Key aspects of authentic leadership:

• Self-awareness
• Transparency
• Ethical behavior
• Balanced processing of information
• Relational orientation

By focusing on personal growth and authenticity, leaders can create environments that foster innovation, collaboration, and collective success, while also finding greater fulfillment and purpose in their work.

Last updated: January 25, 2025