Of Boys and Men

1. Boys are falling behind in education, globally.

In the space of just a few decades, girls and women have not just caught up with boys and men in the classroom—they have blown right past them.

Global trend. Across the world, girls are outperforming boys in education, from elementary school through college. This isn't just a Western phenomenon; it's a widespread trend, with girls achieving higher grades, better literacy skills, and higher rates of college enrollment and completion. For example, in Finland, a country renowned for its education system, girls significantly outperform boys in reading, science, and math.

Early gaps. The educational gap between boys and girls often starts early, with girls being more "school-ready" at age 5 and showing stronger literacy skills throughout their schooling. By high school, girls have solidified their lead, earning higher GPAs and taking more advanced classes. This early disadvantage can have long-lasting consequences for boys' future opportunities.

Systemic bias. The education system, while not intentionally designed to disadvantage boys, is structured in ways that favor girls' developmental trajectories. Girls' brains mature faster, especially during adolescence, giving them an advantage in areas like impulse control, planning, and future orientation, which are crucial for academic success. This is not to say that girls are inherently better students, but that the system is better suited to their developmental pace.

2. Men are losing ground in the labor market, especially those without college degrees.

The labor market trajectory of males in the U.S. has turned downward along four dimensions: skills acquisition; employment rates; occupational stature; and real wage levels.

Declining participation. Labor force participation among men has dropped significantly over the past half-century, with millions of prime-age men not in employment. This decline is particularly pronounced among young men and those with only a high school education. The reasons are complex, but include automation, free trade, and a shift away from traditionally male jobs.

Wage stagnation. While women's wages have risen across the board, wages for most men have stagnated or even declined. The median real hourly wage for men peaked in the 1970s and has been falling since. This has led to a narrowing of the gender pay gap, but not in a way that benefits men. The deepest fissures in the labor market are not between men and women, but between the upper middle class and the middle and working classes.

Structural problems. The challenges faced by men in the labor market are not due to individual failings, but rather to structural shifts in the economy. Automation and free trade have disproportionately impacted traditionally male jobs, while the demand for "soft skills" and emotional intelligence has increased, areas where women often have an advantage. This requires a systemic response, not just individual "fixes."

3. Fathers have lost their traditional role in the family, leading to a "dad deficit."

The traditional family model provided a ‘package deal’ in which a father’s relationship with his child is contingent on his relationship with the mother.

Provider role dismantled. The traditional male role as the primary breadwinner has been dismantled by women's economic independence. This has left many men feeling dislocated, as their traditional role has been hollowed out. The cultural expectation that men should be the primary providers persists, even as their ability to fulfill this role has diminished.

Cultural lag. While the role of mothers has expanded to include breadwinning, the role of fathers has not been updated to include caring. Culture and policy are stuck on an obsolete model of fatherhood, lagging behind economic reality. This has resulted in a "dad deficit," with men increasingly unable to fulfill the traditional breadwinner role but yet to step into a new one.

Emotional dependency. The economic reliance of women on men held women down, but it also propped men up. Now that the props have gone, many men are falling. Men were emotionally dependent on their wives, and without the traditional provider role, many men struggle to find meaning and purpose. This has led to higher rates of isolation, depression, and even suicide among men.

4. Black boys and men face acute challenges due to the intersection of racism and sexism.

To be male, poor, and African-American … is to confront, on a daily basis, a deeply held racism that exists in every social institution.

Double disadvantage. Black boys and men face a unique combination of disadvantages due to the intersection of racism and sexism. They are often seen as a threat, leading to discrimination in education, employment, and the criminal justice system. This "gendered racism" creates a particularly difficult path for Black men.

Systemic barriers. Black men are less likely to rise up the income ladder, and they face higher rates of incarceration and lower employment rates, even when raised in affluent families. The educational system also fails Black boys, with many falling behind their female counterparts and white peers. This is not just a matter of poverty; it's a systemic issue rooted in anti-Black racism.

Threat stereotype. Black men are often perceived as dangerous, leading to higher rates of police stops, arrests, and convictions. This "threat stereotype" constrains their lives in very specific ways, limiting their opportunities and creating a cycle of disadvantage. The criminalization of Black men has resulted in millions of workless men and fatherless families.

5. Poor boys and men suffer disproportionately, creating a cycle of disadvantage.

The boys and men struggling most are those at the sharp end of other inequalities, especially of class and race.

Deaths of despair. Deaths from drug overdoses, suicides, and alcohol-related illnesses are disproportionately high among less-educated men, especially those in the working class. These "deaths of despair" are a symptom of the economic and social challenges faced by these men. The loss of a good job can lead to a loss of dignity, isolation, and self-medication.

Family misfortunes. When men struggle, families become poorer. The rise of women's work and wages has blunted some of the pain of men's economic decline, but many families are still struggling. The cultural expectation that men will be the primary breadwinners persists, even as their ability to fulfill this role has diminished. This can lead to instability in family life, especially for those at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder.

Inherited disadvantage. Childhood disadvantage hurts boys more than girls, creating a corrosive, intergenerational cycle. Boys raised in poor families and neighborhoods are less likely to escape poverty as adults. They also suffer more from family instability and the absence of fathers. This means that the male malaise becomes an inherited condition, passed down from one generation to the next.

6. Many social policies fail to help boys and men, often benefiting women more.

The striking failure of these interventions to help boys or men is often obscured by a positive average result, driven by the positive impact on girls or women.

Unequal impact. Many social programs, including free college initiatives, mentoring programs, and job training schemes, have been shown to benefit girls and women more than boys and men. This is not always intentional, but it highlights a systemic bias in policy design. For example, a free college program in Kalamazoo, Michigan, significantly increased college completion rates for women but had no impact on men.

Hidden disparities. The failure of these interventions to help boys or men is often obscured by a positive average result, driven by the positive impact on girls or women. This means that many boys and men are not only struggling, but they are also less likely to be helped by policy interventions. This is a repeated pattern, not just a quirk of a specific initiative.

Aspiration gaps. One reason why many programs fail to help boys and men is that they often lack the motivation and aspiration to succeed. Girls and women have had to fight misogyny without, while boys and men are now struggling for motivation within. This means that many educational interventions, including free college, benefit women more than men because their appetite for success is higher.

7. Both nature and nurture matter in shaping men, but culture is key.

The key point is that the relationship between chronological age and developmental age is very different for girls and boys.

Biological differences. There are real, biologically based differences between men and women, especially in terms of aggression, risk-taking, and sex drive. These differences are not just social constructs; they have roots in our evolutionary history. However, these differences are not deterministic; they can be magnified or muted by culture.

Cultural influence. Culture plays a crucial role in shaping how biological differences are expressed. Some cultures valorize violence, while others do not. The way we manage, channel, and express our natural tendencies is heavily influenced by our surroundings. Culture and biology do not develop separately from each other; they coevolve.

Timing of development. The biggest difference between male and female brains is not in how they develop, but when. The relationship between chronological age and developmental age is very different for girls and boys. This means that the education system, which is structured around chronological age, is tilted in favor of girls.

8. The political left often pathologizes masculinity, hindering progress.

Progressives refuse to accept that important gender inequalities can run in both directions, and quickly label male problems as symptoms of “toxic masculinity.”

Toxic masculinity. The political left often pathologizes masculinity, labeling male problems as symptoms of "toxic masculinity." This term is often used to describe any male behavior that is deemed undesirable, from violence to stoicism. This approach alienates many men and hinders progress on addressing their real challenges.

Individualism. Progressives tend to frame male problems as individual failings, rather than as the result of structural challenges. This individualistic approach ignores the systemic issues that contribute to male disadvantage, such as the decline in traditionally male jobs and the lack of male role models in education.

Denial of biology. The political left often dismisses any biological basis for sex differences, arguing that all gender differences are socially constructed. This denial of science makes it difficult to address the real challenges faced by boys and men, which are often rooted in both biology and culture.

9. The political right seeks to restore traditional gender roles, not equality.

The political Right wants to turn back the clock.

Exploiting male grievances. The political right often exploits male grievances for political gain, fueling anger and discontent. They present themselves as the defenders of traditional masculinity, but offer few real solutions to the problems faced by men. This approach often involves a nostalgic appeal to the past, rather than a vision for the future.

Overemphasis on biology. Conservatives tend to overemphasize the importance of biological sex differences, using them to justify traditional gender roles. This approach ignores the role of culture and individual agency in shaping behavior. They often see the solution to men's problems as lying in the past, in the form of a restoration of traditional economic relations between male providers and female carers.

Resistance to change. The political right often resists the idea of gender equality, seeing it as a threat to traditional values and social order. They are often unwilling to acknowledge the real challenges faced by boys and men, preferring to focus on the perceived threat to traditional masculinity. This approach is ultimately unhelpful and does not address the root causes of male disadvantage.

10. Boys need an extra year in the classroom to level the playing field.

Here I propose a simple but radical reform: start boys in school a year later than girls.

Redshirting. Starting boys in school a year later, a practice known as "redshirting," would help to reduce the developmental gap between boys and girls, especially during the critical years of middle and high school. This would allow boys to mature at their own pace, without being constantly compared to girls who are often more advanced.

Benefits of redshirting. Studies have shown that redshirting can lead to improved academic outcomes for boys, including higher test scores, reduced hyperactivity, and lower rates of grade retention. It also allows boys to develop the executive functioning skills that are crucial for academic success. This is not about holding boys back, but about giving them the time they need to thrive.

Equitable approach. Redshirting is not about treating boys and girls the same, but about treating them equitably. It recognizes that boys and girls have different developmental trajectories and that the education system needs to be adjusted to accommodate these differences. This is not about lowering standards for boys, but about creating a system that allows them to reach their full potential.

11. Men can and should move into HEAL (health, education, administration, and literacy) jobs.

The goal here is not to bring back brawny jobs for men, it is to help men adapt.

HEAL jobs. The occupations set to grow the most in the coming years are in the HEAL sectors: health, education, administration, and literacy. These are often female-dominated fields, and there has been a commendable push to get more women into STEM jobs. But it is now equally important to encourage men into HEAL jobs.

Economic opportunity. HEAL jobs offer a real opportunity for men to find meaningful and well-paying work in a changing economy. These jobs are less susceptible to automation and offer a high degree of job security. They also provide a chance for men to use their skills and talents in ways that are both personally fulfilling and socially valuable.

Breaking stereotypes. Getting more men into HEAL jobs would also help to break down gender stereotypes and create a more diverse and inclusive workforce. It would also provide male role models for boys and men, showing them that caring and nurturing are not just "women's work." This would also help to meet the growing demand for labor in these sectors.

12. Fatherhood needs to be redefined as an independent social institution.

We must help men adapt to the dramatic changes of recent decades without asking them to stop being men.

Beyond breadwinning. The traditional male role as the primary breadwinner is no longer sufficient. Fatherhood needs to be redefined as an independent social institution, one that is based on a direct relationship with children, rather than being contingent on the relationship with the mother. This means that fathers need to be more involved in the day-to-day care of their children, regardless of their marital status.

Direct dads. The goal is to create a new model of fatherhood, one where fathers are seen as equal partners in parenting, not just as providers. This requires a cultural shift, as well as policy changes that support fathers' involvement in their children's lives. This includes equal and independent parental leave, a modernized child support system, and father-friendly employment opportunities.

Prosocial masculinity. We need a prosocial masculinity for a postfeminist world. This means helping men adapt to the dramatic changes of recent decades without asking them to stop being men. It means creating a new vision of masculinity that is compatible with gender equality, one that values caring, empathy, and responsibility, as well as strength and courage.

Last updated: January 30, 2025