How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed

1. Embrace Unapologetic Desire and Self-Respect

I MAKE NO EXCUSES FOR MY DESIRES AS A MAN. I MAKE NO EXCUSES FOR MYSELF. I MOVE THROUGH THE WORLD WITHOUT APOLOGY.

Attitude is paramount. The core of attracting women lies in a man's unapologetic acceptance of his desires and a refusal to apologize for who he is. This isn't about arrogance, but about moving through the world with confidence and self-assuredness. It's about owning your desires without shame or hesitation.

Directness is key. Women are often turned off by men who beat around the bush or try to hide their intentions. Being direct about your desires, while maintaining respect, can be incredibly attractive. This means being honest about finding a woman beautiful, wanting to meet her, or even wanting to be intimate with her.

Non-verbal communication matters. It's not just about what you say, but how you say it. Tone of voice, posture, facial expressions, and the speed at which you speak all contribute to conveying this attitude. Warmth and humor can be combined with directness to create a powerful and appealing presence.

2. Master the Art of Learning from Setbacks

I DON'T GET RATTLED BY SETBACKS BECAUSE I LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES.

Rejection is inevitable. Not every approach will be successful, and mistakes are part of the learning process. The key is to not let rejection derail you. Instead, view each setback as an opportunity to learn and improve your approach.

Analyze and adapt. After a rejection, take the time to analyze what went wrong. Was your approach too aggressive? Did you misread her cues? Use this information to refine your tactics and avoid making the same mistake again.

Resilience is crucial. The most successful men are those who can bounce back from rejection without letting it affect their confidence. They accept that not every woman will be interested, and they move on to the next opportunity with a positive attitude.

3. Cultivate Self-Respect and Independence

Plenty of men who wouldn't take a bit of crap from another guy turn into down right spineless wimps when it comes to women.

Self-respect is attractive. Women are drawn to men who respect themselves and have a strong sense of self-worth. This means not tolerating disrespect or mistreatment from anyone, including women. It also means having priorities and interests outside of chasing women.

Avoid neediness. Desperation is a major turn-off. Stop needing women so much by finding hobbies and interests that you genuinely enjoy. This will not only make you more confident but also provide a healthy escape when things get stressful.

Balance is essential. While pursuing women can be enjoyable, it shouldn't consume your entire life. A well-rounded life with diverse interests and passions is far more attractive than one solely focused on chasing women.

4. Harness the Power of "No"

When a woman senses it in you, she knows she's found something she's instinctively wanted since she realized she's female: A MAN SHE COULD NEVER HOPE TO CONTROL.

Setting boundaries is vital. Saying "no" to a woman, especially when it's over an issue of importance, demonstrates self-respect and strength. It shows that you have boundaries and are not afraid to enforce them.

Self-respect defines limits. Self-respect is largely determined by what you are willing to tolerate. By setting clear boundaries and refusing to compromise your values, you project an aura of confidence and control.

Uncontrollable allure. Women are often drawn to men they can't control. A man who is willing to walk away from a relationship if he's not being treated right is far more attractive than one who will put up with anything to avoid being alone.

5. Focus on Winning, Not Avoiding Loss

GLANCE AT WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE TO LOSE, BUT FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT TO WIN.

Desire over fear. Instead of focusing on the potential for rejection or failure, concentrate on what you want to achieve. Visualize the positive outcome of your interactions with women and let that drive your actions.

Embrace the chase. Focus on the excitement of pursuing a woman you desire. What will it be like to be with her? What will you see, hear, and feel? These are the questions that will fuel your motivation and keep you focused on winning.

Patton's mindset. Adopt the mindset of General Patton, who was more interested in winning than in avoiding loss. Glance at the risks, but don't dwell on them. Keep your eyes on the prize and go for it with everything you've got.

6. Project Warmth and Affinity

Even the chickiest woman, who is very uptight about being a sex object, wants to feel loved and special.

Warmth is disarming. Even the most guarded women respond positively to genuine warmth and friendliness. Approaching women with a sense of affinity, as if they were long-lost friends, can break down barriers and create a connection.

Affinity over lust. Instead of coming on strong with lust, try conveying warmth and appreciation. Make her feel adored and special, and she'll be more likely to respond positively.

Communication is key. The meaning of your communication is the response it gets. If your tone of voice and body language convey warmth and friendliness, you'll be far more likely to receive a positive response.

7. Capture Attention with Novelty and Humor

It's that first sentence that determines whether they even read the rest of the ad!

Attention is the gateway. Just like an advertisement, your initial approach determines whether a woman will give you a chance. You need to grab her attention quickly and effectively.

Humor and curiosity. Use humor, appeal to her curiosity, or put an unexpected twist on a cliché pick-up line. These tactics can pique her interest and make her more receptive to your advances.

Boldness pays off. Showing outrageous confidence or guts can also be effective. Women are often drawn to men who are willing to take risks and stand out from the crowd.

8. Create Rapport Through Mirroring and Subtlety

Erickson could hypnotize anyone, even the most resistant patient or client. One of the ways he did this was by mirroring the breathing of the person he was hypnotizing.

Rapport is essential. Creating a sense of connection and harmony is crucial for building attraction. Techniques like mirroring can help you establish rapport on a subconscious level.

Mirroring techniques. Subtly mirror her breathing, tone of voice, rate of speech, or gestures. This will create a sense of familiarity and make her feel more comfortable around you.

Subtlety is key. Avoid being too obvious with your mirroring, as this can come across as weird or mocking. The goal is to create a subtle sense of connection without her consciously realizing what you're doing.

9. Employ Strategic Pick-Up Methods

Women in singles bars are sort of like motorcycle cops. Motorcycle cops have heard every story in the book from people trying to talk them out of tickets.

Singles bars are challenging. Women in singles bars have heard every line in the book. To succeed, you need to be unique, persistent, and willing to go through a lot of rejections.

Happy hours offer opportunity. Happy hours can be a great place to meet women, as they are often more relaxed and open to meeting new people. The "taking a survey" method can work well in this setting.

Waitresses are accessible. Waitresses are often more attractive than the customers and offer a low-pressure environment for meeting women. You can take your time and build rapport over multiple visits.

10. Deflect Negativity with Sharp Comebacks

Here are some wicked replies to her bitchy putdowns, to let her know just who's in charge!

Don't tolerate disrespect. Women aren't always sweet and friendly. Sometimes, they can be downright nasty. You don't have to put up with it.

Respond with wit. Have some sharp comebacks ready to deflect her putdowns and let her know you won't be walked over. These comebacks can be witty, sarcastic, or even shocking.

Maintain control. The goal is to assert your dominance and show her that you're not afraid to stand up for yourself. This can be incredibly attractive to women who are looking for a strong, confident man.

11. Leverage Personals for Mass Outreach

Here's how to use the personals to get hundreds and hundreds of responses from just ONE ad!

Think outside the box. Instead of placing a personal ad like everyone else, place a small classified ad offering free information on how women can find love. This will attract a large number of responses.

Craft a compelling letter. Write a one- to two-page letter that is essentially a personal ad for yourself. Describe what you want and don't want in a woman, and ask them to send a letter and photo.

Screen and select. Review the responses and arrange meetings with the women who seem like a good fit. This is a smart and efficient way to meet a large number of potential partners.

12. Overcome Resistance with Hypnotic Techniques

What I am about to show you will allow you to create very powerful feelings of being turned on and excited in almost any woman you can spend time with.

Bypass conscious resistance. Covert hypnosis techniques can bypass a woman's conscious resistance and tap into her subconscious desires. This can be incredibly effective for creating attraction and intimacy.

Stacking realities. Tell a story about someone else experiencing the feelings and actions you want her to take. This allows her to experience those feelings herself without conscious resistance.

Anchoring. Associate a physical touch or gesture with a specific emotion or state. This allows you to trigger that emotion or state later on by simply repeating the touch or gesture.

Last updated: March 13, 2025