Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet

1. Embracing the Journey of Barrenness and Adoption

"God scarred me with beauty."

A transformative journey. Sara Hagerty's story unfolds as a powerful testament to finding purpose and beauty in life's most challenging circumstances. Her decade-long struggle with infertility becomes a catalyst for personal growth and spiritual transformation.

From pain to purpose. Through her journey, Hagerty discovers that barrenness is not just about physical inability to conceive, but a metaphor for spiritual emptiness that can be filled with God's presence. This realization leads her to adopt four children from Africa, each adoption presenting its own set of challenges and blessings.

Redefining family. The author's experience reshapes her understanding of motherhood and family. She learns that being a mother is not solely defined by biological connections, but by the love, care, and spiritual nurturing one provides. This journey teaches her to see God's hand in every aspect of her life, including the painful and seemingly barren seasons.

2. Finding God's Goodness in Life's Losses

"Yes, God was good . . . to us."

Shifting perspective. Hagerty's narrative illustrates a profound shift from seeing God as distant or punitive to recognizing His goodness even in life's most challenging moments. This transformation occurs through a series of personal losses and setbacks.

Embracing the process. The author learns to view difficulties not as punishments or signs of God's absence, but as opportunities for deeper connection with Him. Key experiences include:

• Financial struggles that lead to unexpected provision
• The loss of her father, which paradoxically brings her closer to understanding God as a Father
• Adoption challenges that reveal God's timing and provision

A new understanding. Through these experiences, Hagerty develops a more nuanced and intimate understanding of God's character. She begins to see His goodness not just in blessings, but in the very process of navigating life's hardships.

3. Redefining Success and Shifting Perspective

"I barely know You."

Challenging assumptions. Hagerty's journey forces her to confront and redefine her notions of success, both in her spiritual life and in her role as a wife and mother. This process involves unlearning many preconceived ideas about what a "good" Christian life should look like.

From performance to presence. The author describes a shift from:

• Focusing on outward ministry and impact
• Striving for perfection and control
• Measuring success by visible results

To:

• Valuing internal growth and intimacy with God
• Embracing weakness and dependence on God
• Finding meaning in everyday moments of faithfulness

A new metric. Hagerty learns to measure her life not by external achievements or others' perceptions, but by the depth of her relationship with God. This new perspective allows her to find purpose and contentment even in seasons of apparent barrenness or setback.

4. The Power of Adoration in Daily Life

"Adoration steadies us. It repatterns our thinking."

Transformative practice. Hagerty introduces the concept of "adoration" as a powerful spiritual discipline that reshapes her entire approach to life and faith. This practice involves intentionally focusing on God's attributes and character, especially in the midst of everyday challenges.

Practical application. The author describes how she incorporates adoration into her daily routine:

• Starting the day with Scripture that highlights God's nature
• Meditating on specific attributes of God throughout the day
• Using moments of stress or difficulty as prompts to redirect focus to God's character

Profound impact. Through consistent adoration, Hagerty experiences:

• Increased peace and stability in the face of life's uncertainties
• A deeper sense of God's presence in mundane moments
• A shift from self-focus to God-focus, leading to greater joy and purpose

5. Navigating Marriage Through Shared Struggles

"Nate and I unknowingly had a convergence that night, one we first identified together months later."

Unified growth. Hagerty's narrative reveals how her marriage to Nate becomes a crucible for mutual spiritual and emotional growth. Their shared experiences of infertility, adoption, and personal struggles become opportunities for deepening their relationship with each other and with God.

Challenges and breakthroughs. The couple faces numerous obstacles:

• Early marital conflicts and misunderstandings
• The strain of infertility and the adoption process
• Differing approaches to faith and ministry

Yet, these challenges lead to:

• Increased empathy and understanding for each other
• A shared vision for their family and ministry
• Deeper reliance on God as individuals and as a couple

A partnership in faith. Through their journey, Sara and Nate learn to support each other's spiritual growth, often taking turns in being the strong one during difficult seasons. This mutual support becomes a tangible expression of God's love in their lives.

6. Transformative Power of Adoption and Healing

"Lily launched out of the car, and in seconds (after joyful acknowledgment of her new siblings) she found herself no longer fatherless and in the arms of her earthly daddy."

Redemptive love. Hagerty's experience with adoption becomes a powerful metaphor for God's redemptive love. Through adopting four children from challenging backgrounds, she and Nate engage in a process that mirrors God's adoption of believers into His family.

Healing journey. The adoption process reveals:

• The deep wounds carried by children who have experienced abandonment and loss
• The transformative power of consistent, unconditional love
• The importance of patience and perseverance in the healing process

Mutual transformation. As Hagerty and her husband work to heal their adopted children, they find themselves being healed and transformed as well. This reciprocal process deepens their understanding of God's love and the nature of spiritual growth.

7. Discovering True Identity and Worth in God

"He is the God who remembers."

Identity redefined. Through her struggles with infertility and the adoption process, Hagerty undergoes a profound shift in how she understands her identity and worth. She moves from:

• Defining herself by her ability (or inability) to bear children
• Seeking validation through ministry success and others' approval

To:

• Embracing her identity as God's beloved child
• Finding worth in being known and remembered by God

Practical realization. This shift manifests in:

• Increased confidence in approaching God
• Greater peace with unanswered prayers and ongoing struggles
• The ability to parent adopted children from a place of secure identity

Ripple effect. As Hagerty grows in her understanding of her identity in God, she becomes better equipped to help her children (and readers) discover their own true worth and identity.

8. Embracing Vulnerability and Weakness

"Pain had created space. Space to want more. Space to taste a sense of being alive."

Strength in weakness. Hagerty's journey illustrates the paradoxical strength that comes from embracing vulnerability and weakness. She learns that acknowledging her limitations and needs opens the door to deeper experiences of God's grace and power.

Transformative vulnerability. Key aspects of this process include:

• Letting go of the need to appear strong or perfect
• Honest communication with God about doubts, fears, and struggles
• Allowing others to see and support her in times of weakness

A new perspective. Through embracing vulnerability, Hagerty discovers:

• A more authentic and intimate relationship with God
• Increased empathy and connection with others
• The ability to find beauty and purpose in life's imperfections

9. The Beauty of God's Unseen Work

"He hid me. For Himself."

Hidden growth. Hagerty's story emphasizes the importance of the unseen work God does in people's lives, often during seasons that seem unproductive or painful. She learns to value the internal transformation that occurs even when external circumstances remain unchanged.

Redefining progress. The author comes to appreciate:

• The spiritual growth that happens in waiting and silence
• The value of perseverance through extended seasons of difficulty
• The beauty of small, everyday moments of faithfulness

A broader perspective. This understanding helps Hagerty to:

• Find purpose and meaning in seemingly barren seasons of life
• Trust God's timing and methods, even when they don't align with her expectations
• Encourage others to look for God's hidden work in their own lives

Last updated: January 24, 2025